Photo by Viv
The Self-Love of No
Sometimes the most loving thing we can do for ourselves is to say no to others. I find this excruciatingly hard, but I’m learning more and more of the short and long term benefits.
Saying no to a night of wine with friends so I can sleep off a cold. I love my friends and I gather such strength from being in their company, but last night my bed was beckoning and I can tell today that the time for myself was priceless in combatting this illness. Come to think of it, my friends are probably thankful I kept my germs to myself.
Saying no to an afternoon of work when my house was in desperate need of vacuuming and laundry doing. The cash is nice to have but with four kids, a dog and two cats the housework can quickly overtake me. Sacrificing the money for the peace of mind of a clean house was priceless.
When the calendar is full and we haven’t sat down together as a family in days, it’s nice to say no occasionally to school functions or extracurricular activities. The kids get to play, we eat together and play board games. Just being together is reward enough in knowing we made the right decision to forego the hectic schedule in favor of us time.
I am not one who says no easily. I am often overscheduled and frequently double booked. Taking some time to think through what saying yes will mean has allowed me to say no with more confidence and it has made all the difference in my life.
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Amy Blum is the co-founder of Live it to the Full. She graduated with a BA in English from the University of Colorado at Denver, worked in magazine publishing with Colorado Homes and Lifestyles Magazine, has worked as a freelance writer and editor for nearly twenty years, wrote a series of articles on organic gardening for Examiner.com and has been blogging personally and professionally since 2005.
She lives in Denver, Colorado with the love of her life and their blended family of four boy children (2 of hers & 2 of his) a wild-eyed Australian Sheppard and two Hemingway cats. Her hobbies include gardening, knitting, art journaling, long walks in and around her neighborhood, date nights, and entertaining friends and family.