Sometimes, some days, we get a glimpse back at how far we’ve come.
We get to spend time with someone who knew and loved us way back then.
And you get reminded of that 19 year old you.
The one who didn’t think she was worthy of love.
The one who didn’t think she was beautiful.
The one who was deeply broken.
And you get to stop for a second and acknowledge how far you’ve come.
To acknowledge that you know longer believe those stories.
That you finally feel worthy of love.
That you finally feel beautiful.
That you have dug deep into the healing.
And you can’t help but cry because it is a beautiful thing while at the same time,
You can’t help but grieve that 19 year old and her pain.
Not only her but also your 34 year old self who still believed it and all the years between,
Because it took that long to re-write those stories.
You even surprise yourself as you feel gratitude for all of these years of being single.
Because to be able to get to that place of healing, finally.
Without proof that you are lovable. Or beautiful.
Without someone reassuring you with love in their eyes.
Finally coming to the place where you can see that in the mirror.
Where you saved yourself.
Where you feel like you are worthy of love, not because someone is offering it to you.
But because you simply are.
We all are.
First and foremost from ourselves.
And it is not that this is the place of success or ultimate healing.
Rather it is only the pause before the next level of healing reveals itself.
Self-love isn’t a utopian place we arrive at, it is layers and years of showing up for yourself.
But sometimes, some days we get to pause and look back and weep in gratitude and in grief and all the emotions in between
for the journey of being human and learning to see yourself with love.
So you pick up the camera.
Not for anyone else other than yourself.
Because days like this need to be remembered.
When we get to see full circle.