Vanity and Self-Portraiture

Let’s talk about vanity!

Now, I’ve been wanting to write this post for a long time as this is probably one of the biggest ways that self-portraiture gets pigeon-holed, as an act of vanity.

I so deeply feel that when people assume taking selfies is ONLY about vanity, we actually disempower ourselves (or one another) from the act of telling the story of our lives through images.  I think we also make the idea of seeing ourselves as in these images and feeling good about what we see as wrong.

This has been one of the core values I’ve been building these courses around, taking vanity out of the conversation and focusing in on storytelling, on just picking up the camera and showing up for ourselves.

But is vanity wrong?

I feel like self-portraiture invites us to explore our relationship to our self-image and yes, vanity.

Truthfully, I don’t feel like I can say that ‘No, self-portraiture has nothing to do with vanity’  because I only have my own experience of it.

We all likely have different experiences of it.

For a teenager trying to figure out their identity, taking self-portraits (yes, even of the facebook/myspace profile variety) might be an incredible tool to dive into finding self-confidence and figuring out who they are.

For those experiencing invisibility through gender stereotypes, the whitewashing of media and advertisements and for those who’s bodies don’t fit the mold of what is typically seen as ‘beautiful’ the act of taking self-portraits can be a downright radical act.

For me, having felt invisible for much of my life and not beautiful, taking self-portraits in which the goal is to see my own beauty and even dabble in vanity has been deeply healing.

For a person who has always been seen as typically ‘beautiful’ the act of taking self-portraits might be about telling the story of who she is beyond her beauty.

Is seeing ourselves and liking what we see (especially if that is a new experience) wrong?  Is it any less the experience of storytelling if we are telling the story of self-hate turning into self-love and reclaiming a bit of vanity?

So truthfully, I don’t think it is as simple as saying that self-portraiture isn’t about vanity.

But I don’t think the act of self-portraiture is vain.

I do feel like self-portraiture invites us to explore our relationship to seeing ourselves with in a positive way, to see ourselves kindness and that involves liking what we see.  To reclaim vanity or to throw it to the wind, whatever our story and our relationship to our self-image needs to shift towards a place of self-love.

I think self-portraiture can be a radical tool to see ourselves with love.  That’s what I know.

Whether it is through embracing vanity, getting dressed up and seeing ourselves as beautiful because society (or people in our lives) don’t tell us that and we need to find it for ourselves.  Whether it is ditching vanity and focusing on the story in the photo or whether it is focusing on the every day moments or the artistry because that is what calls you.  I feel like all of these ways of taking self-portraits are deeply worthy.  You are deeply worthy of taking self-portraits for any darn reason you’d like!

What matters is that we chose to pick up the camera and give ourselves the chance to feel worthy, to feel like enough, to see ourselves truthfully in the moment, to even feel beautiful or to feel more than beautiful, to feel in control, to feel empowered…to make space for whatever experience needs to unfold.

There is no wrong or right reason to take a self-portrait in my mind, yes even for the sake of vanity.

What matters is that we give ourselves the chance to be seen with kindness, by ourselves.

So bring it on, any way you like!

If you’d like support on your path to see yourself with kindness, come join me for the upcoming session of Be Your Own Beloved. Class starts November 1st!