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A lovely pal of mine who is taking the Beloved Camera class emailed me the other day and asked: How do you you push through and take self-portraits when you’re having a rough day or don’t feel up for it.
I thought that was such a big beautiful question and of course I emailed her back but also thought I might share a bit about what my response to that is.
I really believe that taking selfies & self-portraits isn’t meant only for days when the world is all in sync, when we’re feeling fabulous, when we are excited to. Not at all.
Thats not how it began for me and while yes…there are lots of times I’ll go out and take self-portraits when the sun is shining and I’m feeling awesome…those aren’t the photo adventures that feel the most healing or transformative to me.
Every time I take my camera and consciously go out and take self-portraits as well as other photos, I come home feeling a tiny bit (or a lot) better than when I left. Every time. Something about getting outside, taking solo self-care time, getting moving and opening up to the serendipity of what might be out there to photograph just fuels me.
You may or may not know that my photography journey began just at the tail end of a very rough patch in my life and it has been a tool for me to guide myself back to a place of feeling happy again. Had I only waited for ‘good days’ to take self-portraits it undoubtably would have never led me to where life is right now.
I should mention too that to me, a self-portrait doesn’t always mean a grand photo, it could be as simple as my toes feeling the bare grass under my feet or just an arms length photo. Sometimes it can really help us especially when we’re having a rough day to let go of any expectations of what the photo needs to be and just let it be what it is meant to. So if on these days you are feeling pressure to get creative, why not let go of that for another day and instead let yourself connect with taking self-portraits as a place to tell your story?
It feels most important to get out there with my camera when I’m having a rough time too (like earlier this year when my Grammy passed away). Its in these times that the photos I take feel like a place to be witnessed by me, whether or not I share them. I might let the tears go (or other activities that I share in Be Your own Beloved) that really feel like they let it be a place for what is going on to land.
To tell you the truth, it is really not about the outcome and the photos that we get out of the photo taking as much as it is the experience itself. Sure it always feels great to come home with a photo or two I feel happy with, but if I were to judge the value of the experience only on the ratio of how many good photos there were after compared to the outtakes it took to get them, I could easily judge every photo walk as unworthy. That’s not something that sits well with me at all…as I could have a really nourishing time on that photo walk and take no awesome photos at all. So I really prefer (and encourage you to) place more value on the experience of taking the photos than just the outcome of the photos themselves.
I really wanted to share this with you as I have a feeling there are lots of us out there who are saving going for a photo walk or taking a self-portrait (or getting back into self-portraiture) for that someday when all is good & feeling just right.
Do you need to push through and take self-portraits if you really aren’t feeling it? Not at all? But it also could be a way to let yourself be seen & heard (by you) in your photos and you might just come back having your day just be a little bit brighter.
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