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So far we’ve gone wild taking a whole lot of smile selfies, haven’t we! I’m super proud of y’all for just going for it!
How was that for you? Did you see some you loved? Did some feel more vulnerable for you?
For me, the candid ones feel like they feel much more vulnerable in two ways: the physical aspect and the ME-ness that comes through with them. It’s that second part that I wondered if y’all would be into digging deeper into today with me.
What is it about our candid or natural smile that can feel so vulnerable?
I’ve been pondering this and this is what keeps coming to mind for me.
Keeping my smile small and is a way of keeping me composed, feeling in control of my self image…without that smile I feel unmasked, exposed, vulnerable, too happy, too much.
The more I keep my guarded posed smile up, the more I keep my boundaries up and choose the story I want to tell in the photo. There is indeed something empowering about that and it is a vital part of reclaiming our self-image to feel in control of the story we tell when for so many of us, we’ve believed stories from outside ourselves for so long.
Yet the more I let that unguardeness go, the walls drop and you can see the emotion on my face and in my smile. That feels terrifying some days and I just want to keep it all private.
But at the same time I don’t want to keep myself small. I don’t want you only to know or to see the curated version of me. And I don’t only want to know the curated version of you.
I want to unmask the smile.
Unclench my jaw.
Unlock the guarded boundaries my smile holds back.
Unearth my ‘too muchness’.
To value my urge to smile over my worry about how it will be seen by others.
Yet I can’t help but also recognize how the physical elements of taking such a vulnerable kind of selfie bring up feelings of ‘not enoughness’ too. We are pushed and pulled by these two different strong emotions of not enough and too much!
Does the not enough & too much-ness sound familiar to any of you? I have a feeling it might. So many of us as women hold back, play small, keep contained for the sake of other people and that ‘not enoughness’ indeed keeps us in that place of smallness.
I want us to reclaim that today. Want to join me?
What would happen if we let ourselves be TOO MUCH in our smiles today?
What are we afraid of?
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The ‘Too Much’ Smile!
Let’s embrace being ‘too much’ today! Let’s not hold back, let’s not be composed, let’s not try to be ‘perfect’. Let’s embrace being our big, bold, vibrant, too much selves!
Let’s claim space.
Let’s not play small with our smiles.
Let’s take up space!
You might:
- Put on lipstick! Especially if that isn’t in your comfort zone!
- Get in close to the camera and make your lips and smile the focus of the photo.
- Let your biggest grin out and not try to keep it small in any way!
- What are the ways you feel like you compose or curate your smile? How could you go wild in the other direction? Don’t hold back your sexiness, your uniqueness, your vibrancy. Your YOU-ness!
I encourage you to start taking these photos without putting pressure on yourself to share them. Take them for YOU. That way we can probably let even more worry of our shoulders about being ‘too much’. Then after you take them, see if there is indeed one you want to share after all…but take them for yourself first!
If you do choose to share them today, tag them with #beyourownbeloved so we can cheer you on and leave a comment or add your link to the list below!
You’ll learn, as you get older, that rules are made to be broken. Be bold enough to live life on your terms, and never, ever apologize for it. Go against the grain, refuse to conform, take the road less traveled instead of the well-beaten path. Laugh in the face of adversity, and leap before you look. Dance as though EVERYBODY is watching. March to the beat of your own drummer. And stubbornly refuse to fit in.
-Mandy Hale
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