Author Archives: vivienne

May 6, 2013

New Wheels & a Lesson in Confidence

On Saturday I was heading home from ‘The Drive’, the main street in my neighbourhood and I stumbled across a yard sale.

There she was, shiny and red, cute and vintage. Unlike any other bike I’ve seen.

I asked the price, sure that once I heard it I would easily be able to pick up my groceries and walk home without it.

But then she said it, and it was wicked cheap. So I put down my groceries and gave her a spin.

3 gears,

pedal brakes

big tires

and she’s a folding bike

She rode like a dream and after that trial ride she became mine. I was smitten.

I went home, got my helmet and then headed out to the seawall, a bike path that weaves around the waters edge of this coastal city. I was worried at first that something was wrong, that there was a reason she was so affordable and that I’d need to do repairs but it was such a beautiful ride.

It reminded me of my bike at my parents house that I ride when I’m visiting for cottage time in the summer. Somehow pedal brakes and minimal gears just feels like summer to me, when you just can’t help but coast more and feel happy.

And then my gremlins a.k.a. my inner critic appeared.

Now, my gremlins and I have a long history and after lots and lots of work (and putting them in their place) we’ve kind of been at peace lately.

But there they were rearing their meanie selves again.

I’d bike past store windows and look at my reflection, much like I used to and judge how wide I looked from the side walking by a store window. Did I look like a fool on this bike? As I big girl, do I look silly riding this little bike? Is this bike too funky for me?

This went on for about 5 minutes and my gremlins ranted and raved and sucked the pleasure out of the moment. I remembered how icky it felt to have my gremlins taking over. So I had a conversation with myself that went something like this:

“Do you feel a sense of freedom on this bike?”

Yes.

“Does this bike make you happy”

Yes.

“Does this bike feel really comfortable to ride”

Yes.

“Will this bike allow you to be more free in getting around the city?

Yes.

“Will this bike be able to come on travel adventures with you because it is foldable?”

Yes

“Does this bike make you want to put on vintage dresses and ride it with style?”

Heck yes.

Then this bike is meant for you, and you have to honour it by rockin’ it with confidence.

And I looked up.

Towards me were biking two guys on tall bikes, then a couple on a flourescent pink tandem bike. A few minutes later a recumbant bike and then yes, even a unicycle. Then more and more, people of all body types and ages riding bikes by me. As each of them passed me I had to smile as it felt like the universe was listening and reminding me of this.

You can rock anything if you gather up the confidence to.

But when we get so caught up in our inward chatter, we miss the opportunity to feel really a part of a community that celebrates uniqueness if we just open up to noticing them.

So I let my shoulders relax.

And smiled the rest of the way home. People smiled widely back at me, not because I was riding a funky bike but because I was riding it with a gigantic happy smile on my face.

I wanted to share this with you in case you happen to adventure outside your comfort zone today and have an unexpected visit from your own inner critic. Look up, look outwards and see the beautiful brave diverse world around you and let yourself shine within it.

P.S. A new session of Be Your Own Beloved starts very soon…and is totally an experience where we get the opportunity to say NO to our inner critic, choose our own path and look up and see an amazing community of women ready to encourage & support us!

May 2, 2013

The New Path

I ended last year feeling lost and this year quickly shifted into something I didn’t expect. Something that made that lostness feel like it made sense. This year I’m feeling a clarity of purpose that I’ve never felt. I think sometimes we naturally feel deeply lost or scared just before birthing something new, right? Of course that is hard to remember in the midst of the lostness.

I realized that I haven’t outright told you about this new path, though I’m sure you are seeing the changes in the courses offered and the new title of this site. The new path is all about being your own beloved and cultivating self-compassion through self-portraiture.

Something happened this February when I offered Be Your Own Beloved. There was something within me shouting ‘This!!! This is it. This is what you need to focus on. This is how you can be most of service in the world. This is your IT’. I just felt a clarity I had never felt really in my life let alone in business. For so much of my life I felt like I had no clue what my purpose was so to feel it, to feel a little taste of clarity kind of blew me away.

In these last few years of teaching e-courses it has been incredible to teach such a wide variety of classes. Everything from making videos to seeing photography through the lens of the chakras. A super wide range. So, its been a bit of a process to realize that by feeling so focused on #beyourownbeloved and truly be able to be of service through it, I needed to stop offering all the other classes. So this is what I wanted to tell you today.

It has been an honour to help people see that they can make videos and get past their fear of technology, it has been amazing to help people see that they are artists and photographers and explore self-portraiture through discovering tools of photography but I truly feel so clear that what really lights me up, what really feels like what I can most be of service in….is helping people see their own worthiness and help them bring more self-love into their lives through their cameras. That it isn’t about our cameras or our photography skill or how ‘perfect’ of an image we can get.

It is about telling our story.

It is about showing up in front of the camera seeking that self-love.

It is about resiliency.

It is about using the tools that might feel like the ways that negative self-talk may most be prevalent (like seeing images of ourselves) and taking the power back, reclaiming that tool as a way to cultivate self-love.

Its all about the love.

There are new classes coming, but they are all focused around self-portraiture, self-love and self-care and this feels really right.

So I wanted to share this with you in case you were awaiting the next Montage session or hoping the Chakra class was coming back (I’m even still on the fence about continuing to offer YAYOM…its my baby, my first born and I may still offer it but way less frequently than I have been). These courses may appear again in a self-paced or E-Book form though!

I hope you’ll join me in continuing to explore seeing ourselves with kindness through our cameras!

April 30, 2013

Being Your Own Beloved

A new session of Be Your own Beloved starts tomorrow and I can barely wait to send these love notes to the participants inboxes for the next 28 days. Love notes with a daily tool to try on the path to seeing themselves with kindness.

This course comes right from my heart, from all the tricks and tools I’ve been using along the way to healing my own self-image and learning to be kinder to myself. I first offered this class if February and I so hoped that these tools would resonated with the participants. What happened floored me. The experience changed peoples lives. I mean, I know these tools changed mine and that had been my hope but to see the transformations and unfolding that happened in those 28 days was amazing. I was a proud e-course mama and it has been truly an honour to offer this class.

This new session starts tomorrow and I’m adding even more powerful tools to the class (also because a fair number of people who took it the first time are back for more)!

We’re gathering in the Flickr group already for class, so I wanted to mention it to you in case you felt drawn to join us this time and to spend the next month in a beautiful community experience while at the same time focusing in on YOU and creating more self-kindness in your days and seeing yourself differently.

This is for you who don’t think you are photogenic and are never in photos but want to change that story.

This is for you mamas who need tools to reconnect with yourself.

This is for you who believe that you need to make changes before you take photos of yourself (let the love start now).

This is for you who want to change the story of the way you see yourself.

This is for all of us.

I wanted to share a few testimonials with you and experiences of some past participants and folks I’ve done Be Your Own Beloved workshops with.

Hear about Kyeli Smith’s experience of taking self-portraits in her amazing video and how her world was rocked by taking Be Your Own Beloved!

On her blog yesterday Andrea Scher shared a moment when she remembered a tool from taking Be Your Own Beloved and had a moment of self-kindness.

Read about the amazing Anna Guest-Jelley’s experience of taking Be Your Own Beloved here!

It has been really powerful to hear these stories of how the experience of taking a self-portrait each day for a month was for the month was for people and I wanted to share these with you as I have a feeling they might resonate with you!

Alana shared how the course affected her as a Mom:

When I became a mom, I felt like I took a step back internally, to let my daughter shine in front of me. At the time, I didn’t feel like I was shrinking, or playing small – I was completely wrapped up in how amazing she was. She was (and still is) the center of my life. Fast forward a few years and that piece of me that took a back seat wanted to be seen again. I wanted to be seen as a whole woman, not just as a mom. This reemergence had been happening slowly, over time, but it was taking Be Your Own Beloved that helped me to physically see myself again as a whole, beautiful, complete being.

There’s something deeply moving and heart-opening about looking at yourself through the lens of the camera. Vivienne taught the practice of self-portraiture in such a gentle way, it allowed me to release many of my fears and self-judgments and to see from the outside the shine I feel on the inside.

-Alana Sheeren

Here is also a glimpse of the experience that Rachael is presently having in the You are Your Own Muse class, but I wanted to share it today as I feel like it is one that people are experiencing in BYO Beloved too and that some of you might really relate to:

“I kept thinking that I would have to wait until I lost a lot of weight before I’d be happy with any photos of myself. With this now old mindset (thank you Vivienne!) I’ve done just about everything possible to remain out of photos – it’s really quite sad, as there is a gap of 10 years with very few photos of me. Vivienne – I am not exaggerating by saying that your class has been incredibly powerful and transformative for me, so thank you oh so very much for having this space for all of us to express ourselves and look at ourselves differently.”

-Rachel Krebs

Class starts tomorrow and its not too late to join in.

Gift yourself with the kindness and transformation that folks are having from being their own beloved and come join us!

April 28, 2013

The Story is Unfolding

She didn’t know what would happen this time she turned the camera towards herself

Sometimes it would be the same story that asked to be told. The one about feeling at home in her own body, the one that craved to dance and twirl after too much time caged in, sitting on her hands trying to be still.

Sometimes it would be a calling to just send as much compassion her own way as she could, by looking through the camera.

Sometimes she would just yearn to be playful, to jump and make silly faces and make herself smile when she’d look at the images.

Sometimes she would yearn to capture herself in a way that made her feel beautiful, something she was only now starting to believe she was and she’d take that photo remembering that she gets to decide what about her is beautiful, on her own terms.

And some days, like on this day, the story was one that she didn’t even know yet.

One that she was in the motion of writing, right here right now.

And one day she’d look back at it and it would make so much sense.

But right now, all she knew was that her intuition told her: surround yourself in this green, this growing, this reaching towards the sky.

So she listened.

If your intuition is whispering to you that you’d like to try self-portraiture in a supportive community environment with self-reflective yet playful activities, a new session of Be Your Own Beloved is starting oh so soon…this wedensday May 1st! Come join us!

April 23, 2013

Lets talk about Shoes!

Often when I post a photo on Flickr or Instagram that have my feet in them, one of the first questions is “Where did you get those shoes?”

So I wanted to create a blog post where I shared all that info (and can refer people to). I clearly have an obsession with pretty yet practical shoes and from the comments, I can tell I’m not alone!

And if you are wondering….why do people take so many selfies of their feet…or why might I want to? This post called ‘Why take self-portraits of your feet’ is for you!

So here they are….the shoes!

The Slippers

I think if I had to choose one pair of shoes that felt most me, these would be them. I first started wearing them years ago when I spent a few months in the SF Bay area. That adventure was definitely a pivotal point for me where I had a few months in a world outside of my usual to deeply dive into self-discovery.

As a big reader of Sabrina Ward Harrison’s books, I went down to Chinatown in search of some Sabrina-inspired slippers (that you so often see in her work) and I found this style of shoe which is even better than an indoor slipper. I was smitten. You can see my first pair in this pic (on the day I first got them).

I confess that a big part of why I take a yearly trip to the Bay Area (other than that my heart feels at home there and I usually need a mid-winter California break) is to stock up on these shoes! I wear ’em out pretty quickly with a lot of walking! I’m sure I could find them online too, but part of the fun of these shoes for me is the adventure to find them!

Camper Ballet Flats

I have a car-free life, so my everyday shoes need to be comfortable enough to walk for hours in (because sometimes I’ll go on grand walking adventures) as well as be cute enough for a selfie when the moment strikes!

I’ve always found that Camper Shoes meet that need. These ones from a few years back were also campers and had me hooked.

Fluevog Radio Kipo Boots

I got these boots earlier this year after yearning for a pair of boots with a light brown colour. For folks with big calves, boots can be hard to find and while I had coveted finding a taller pair someday, these ones caught my eye and are tall enough to be great with skirts or even skinny jeans tucked in but stopped just before my calves.

Fluevogs are amazing, a Canadian company but easily found in the U.S. too. They definitely don’t cater to the bigger calf part of the population but these ones worked and I love ’em. I’m prone to wearing out the heels of boots with all this walking, but I love that I can replace the heels on these ones and keep them lasting for a decade (as they were pretty pricey…I hope to make them last that long)!

Turquoise High Heeled Clog Sandals by Cape Clogs

This are an absolute favourite these days. I’m not that adept at wearing anything with more than a little heel, but I’m amazed at how comfortable these ones are!

You can see them on the Cape Clogs website but I actually got them through a website called Zulily that has amazing sales on lots of different brands I love. These clogs seem to go on sale there every few months for way cheaper than their website so I definitely recommend keeping an eye out for them over there!

Blundstone 500 Slip On Boot

While perhaps not my fanciest pair of shoes or boots, these are one of my favourites. I started to notice last year that pretty much everyone I knew wore Blundstones and started to ask why (okay, it might be very Pacific-Northwest-casual and maybe even a bit hipster to wear blundstones).

The response I always got when I asked that was “Because they last forever and feel amazing” and I was so craving a pair of good boots that weren’t going to wear out in one season so I went for it and I’m definitely a blundstones convert now.

It was SO painful to wear them in but once I did they are truly so comfortable. They are fully leather so I can walk through deep puddles as though I were in rubber boots and also they are my go-to boots to go hiking in!

Love them!

Dansko Clogs

Oh Clogs. I love the softness of the round toes, the mary jane style and the comfort of a pair of clogs. These ones are made by Dansko but there are really so many clog manufacturers these days that are equally fabulous.

I bought these years ago at a point in my life where I just felt really lost and like I didn’t know where my life was going. These shoes felt beautiful and hopeful and they still do when I put them on. I especially love when these shoes find themselves with love notes. That combo feels really right.

Dansko Sandals

These dansko sandals are one of my favourites and while they are super similar to my other ones, I wanted to share them with you separately as these are a pair that I thrifted for about $20.

Many of my favourite boots and shoes over the years are ones that i have found in thrift stores like the good will or value village. I’m amazed how often I see amazing shoes in thrift stores (especially clogs) and while they aren’t always in my size, once in a while (like this pair) they are!

So you don’t necessarily have to pay full price for amazing shoes!

Birkenstock Gizeh Sandals

I’ve always been a birkenstock kind of gal (its in my folk-fest-loving blood) but just got these gizeh style birks and now dream of having them in many colours (but am holding back for now because…well silver goes with so much)!

Something about having nearly bare feet is a simple thing that makes me ridiculously happy. I so wish I could wear these all year round. Wearing them in (if you aren’t used to thong style sandals) was truly unpleasant but like the blundstones, once my feet got used to them they became totally heavenly!

Miz Mooz Boots

These are the one pair of footwear I have that I got the most emails about…well, because they are something else! The miz mooz siri knee high boot is pretty dreamy.

There are definitely some pros and cons to these boots. The pro, with all Miz Mooz boots, is that many of them come in ‘athletic calf’ size which is a saving grace for us gals with big calves. Few companies do this and they need to start to. To have a pair of knee high boots that actually fit, well you can see why I was smitten! If you are more adept at walking in pretty tall heels, you might LOVE these boots but I soon realized after buying them that while they are babe-a-licious and would be great for a date (and one with minimal walking around), they simply are not practical for me.

I also (here comes the truth) think that they are way too expensive for the quality they are. While I am glad I got them, I would totally recommend taking the time to find deals when buying Miz Mooz. Lots of folks sing the praises of this brand and I think some of the flat boots are much more practical yet totally gorgeous! Here is a flat version of the same style that is so lovely.

There you go my fellow shoe-appreciators! Now, I definitely don’t think you need to have fancy shoes in order to turn the camera on your feet as it is such a great way to start inviting yourself into the frame!

Lets go document our world, one footstep at a time!