Category Archives: Be Your Own Beloved

April 28, 2013

The Story is Unfolding

She didn’t know what would happen this time she turned the camera towards herself

Sometimes it would be the same story that asked to be told. The one about feeling at home in her own body, the one that craved to dance and twirl after too much time caged in, sitting on her hands trying to be still.

Sometimes it would be a calling to just send as much compassion her own way as she could, by looking through the camera.

Sometimes she would just yearn to be playful, to jump and make silly faces and make herself smile when she’d look at the images.

Sometimes she would yearn to capture herself in a way that made her feel beautiful, something she was only now starting to believe she was and she’d take that photo remembering that she gets to decide what about her is beautiful, on her own terms.

And some days, like on this day, the story was one that she didn’t even know yet.

One that she was in the motion of writing, right here right now.

And one day she’d look back at it and it would make so much sense.

But right now, all she knew was that her intuition told her: surround yourself in this green, this growing, this reaching towards the sky.

So she listened.

If your intuition is whispering to you that you’d like to try self-portraiture in a supportive community environment with self-reflective yet playful activities, a new session of Be Your Own Beloved is starting oh so soon…this wedensday May 1st! Come join us!

April 16, 2013

Seeing Ourselves Clearly

Have you seen this video by Dove floating around the inter web? If you have yet to, please gift yourself by taking a moment to watch it.

Oh my. Amazing, right?

Such a clear example of how the way we might view ourselves is so different than the way we are viewed.

This one got me right at the core as it speaks so loudly of the work that I feel so called to do, to help people shift from that first image: their self-perception, often much more negative and often filled with sadness and the weight of years of negative self-talk…to that person that we really are…seen through the kindness of another’s eyes.

Except we have the means to see it through our own eyes, through our own hands. Through our cameras.

I sometimes think it is those tools (like the mirror or the camera) that tend to be the place where there is the most potential to make change. Where we might most feel triggered, or that our stories tend to emerge. These are the same places where we have the most control over making change (though I so know it might feel like the opposite before you try it).

I feel like personally, after a really long time of fighting with and then trying to heal negative self-image, I am finally starting to see her clearly, that woman that would be in the second photo if I were in that video. That distorted perception of what I saw in the mirror slowly shift to something kinder. Lately when I look in the mirror I just smile at her as though she were a friend. Confidence isn’t always a dramatic embodiment….I think sometimes it is simply kindness.

When thinking about writing this post I thought…I kind of wish I had a post I could link you to where I shared how I saw myself at the beginning of this journey, to share how far I’ve come in seeing myself with kindness. To share with you, especially those of you who feel like they are just beginning this journey.

But I don’t. Because we don’t tend to write those kinds of post, do we. Instead we keep these thoughts hidden away, packed in with shame. We don’t dare share how much hurt we have, which makes it so much more dangerous doesn’t it.

Thats where the experience of doing this kind of self-love and compassion work within community feels so powerful. We soon realize that we aren’t alone. That we can speak little bits of it aloud and others understand. Not only that but we get to experience the shifts that happen together. In the last session of Be Your Own Beloved I was truly floored by the transformations that happened, that people gifted themselves with the chance to be in front of the camera and to shift from the way they saw themselves, like that first drawing of each of those people in the video.

And started to see the other one.

Through other people’s comments.

Through the activities that invited them to see themselves with kindness.

Through showing up again and again in front of the camera and gifting themselves with the change to change that story.

Whether we find our way to that place of kindness through the camera, through other tools or amazing courses like this one, we can find our way to that second drawing in the video, to that place where we see ourselves clearly.

{If it does feel like a fit to explore self-love through self-portraiture, a new session of Be Your Own Beloved is open for registration and starts May 1st}

March 29, 2013

Oprah + Self-Love Graffiti + Selfies + Me = One Amazing Day

Did this really happen?

Is Oprah’s photo really on the same page as one of my self-portraits?

I’m still kind of shocked to say, yes!

Today took an unexpected turn when the lovely Catherine Just emailed me to let me know that she had just gotten a newsletter from Oprah.com featuring one of my photos in it (and i LOVE that she knew right away it was my photo)! Here’s a link to the article! And here is a link to a second image of mine in the slideshow!

Oh my gosh!

I did know that there was a chance this photo could end up somewhere related to Oprah as a writer contacted me a month or so ago to ask permission to use some photos from this blog post in an article but that it was for the Oprah Page of the Huffington Post (which was exciting enough) but to find out this morning that it was actually on Oprah.com instead was VERY cool!

For someone who grew up watching Oprah’s TV show almost every afternoon after school as a teen, this feels kind of surreal!

I’m feeling extra grateful that this photo in particular was used, not because it is a fancy photo at all but because self-portraiture as a way to cultivate self-love is the message I feel I have to most offer the world so it feels pretty powerful that that is the message that ended up there!

And I hope it will inspire people to take out their sidewalk chalk and leave messages and to keep their eyes open for these secret messages from the universe.

Thank you so much for celebrating this with me my friends! This definitely doesn’t happen every day!

March 26, 2013

Full Circle

Sometimes, some days, we get a glimpse back at how far we’ve come.

We get to spend time with someone who knew and loved us way back then.

And you get reminded of that 19 year old you.

The one who didn’t think she was worthy of love.

The one who didn’t think she was beautiful.

The one who was deeply broken.

And you get to stop for a second and acknowledge how far you’ve come.

To acknowledge that you know longer believe those stories.

That you finally feel worthy of love.

That you finally feel beautiful.

That you have dug deep into the healing.

And you can’t help but cry because it is a beautiful thing while at the same time,

You can’t help but grieve that 19 year old and her pain.

Not only her but also your 34 year old self who still believed it and all the years between,

Because it took that long to re-write those stories.

You even surprise yourself as you feel gratitude for all of these years of being single.

Because to be able to get to that place of healing, finally.

Without proof that you are lovable. Or beautiful.

Without someone reassuring you with love in their eyes.

Finally coming to the place where you can see that in the mirror.

Where you saved yourself.

Where you feel like you are worthy of love, not because someone is offering it to you.

But because you simply are.

We all are.

First and foremost from ourselves.

And it is not that this is the place of success or ultimate healing.

Rather it is only the pause before the next level of healing reveals itself.

Self-love isn’t a utopian place we arrive at, it is layers and years of showing up for yourself.

But sometimes, some days we get to pause and look back and weep in gratitude and in grief and all the emotions in between

for the journey of being human and learning to see yourself with love.

So you pick up the camera.

Not for anyone else other than yourself.

Because days like this need to be remembered.

When we get to see full circle.

March 14, 2013

You are Your Own Muse {a new session is starting soon}!

An outtake from this month’s She is Three photo!

I seem to be spilling the story more lately, how I found photography in a place where I felt really lost.

Where everything was changing and I didn’t know who I was anymore.

I felt like a blank slate, which was exciting yet absolutely scary at the same time.

But I found my way back, primarily using my camera as a tool to find my way home.

I’m so excited to be teaching You are Your Own Muse again, starting in April! This is the first E-Course I ever created and while it has evolved over the years (2 years of amazing participants from around the world joining in…wow) at its heart, it really is about using the camera as a tool to find our way home.

I’ve been getting some great emails lately asking how You are Your Own Muse differs from Be Your Own Beloved and I thought this was a great thing to share with you today!

At the core of both classes is the energy that those words: Be Your Own Beloved sing of. Of seeing ourselves with kindness. Of using the camera as a tool to quiet the negative voices that try to derail a place of self-love. Of seeing ourselves in ways we didn’t expect.

Of finding our way home.

There are a few big differences too:

You are Your Own Muse is 6 week self-portrait exploration. While in BYOBeloved we explore a gentle prompt each day, in YAYOM we explore a theme each week, making room for us to dive deeper and savour the prompt of the week.
In YAYOM you’ll find answers to all those questions you might have wondered in BYO Beloved or seeing self-portraits of others: How do they get the background blurry like that? What gear would I need to get a jumping shot? How can I tell this story in a photo? We explore some technical aspects (playfully of course) and start to look at self-portraiture through the eye of our inner creative through exploring light, our narrative, creating a setting and more. You don’t need to be able to call yourself a photographer to take this class but I warn you….you might feel that way by the end!
I’m here to answer your questions and to cheer you along in the journey. Okay, I confess I kind of have an obsession with commenting on every photo in every class, in YAYOM I go deeper with you. I’m available throughout the class to answer all your questions, to help you push through fear that arises, to give you feedback on your classes. It is important to me to offer more affordable classes like the BYO series and YAYOM does cost more, but with that investment in yourself I am able to invest more time and support for you (and I’ll remind you throughout the class to really take advantage of that)!
The content is totally different! While the energy of cultivating self-kindness is the same, this class is entirely different with a whole different curriculum for you to explore!
Plus, you get a course PDF of the entire class (92 inspiring pages) so you can explore the content beyond the end of class too!

If you have any questions about whether You are Your Own Muse is a fit for you (or if the idea of joining us feels beautifully scary)….please don’t hesitate to reach out and email me at vivienne.mcmater@gmail.com

Or if you’re ready to dive in, you can sign up here!

Class starts soon!