Category Archives: Life

February 4, 2014

Love in our Eyes

grammywithlove

I’ve been a bit quiet over here lately as in the last couple weeks the earth has been shaking under my feet. Almost a week ago now, my Grammy, who I was very close to, passed away. She was a truly amazing woman who taught us so much about savouring the simple beauty of life and was someone with whom I got to experience unconditional love.

For those of you who have been in Be Your Own Beloved, you have heard me mention her in one specific prompt where we are looking into the camera with love. Her health has been very up & down in the last year with many strokes, so in this activity in particular as we are thinking about someone we love when taking the photo…I would think of her and send her love.

Grief and I have met many times in my life and I feel like each time I lose someone it opens up the well of grief as a whole. I loved my Grammy so much & had so much gratitude for her, which made losing her even more intense. I’m still definitely in the grief stage and taking good self-care right now.

I wanted to share this photo with you though, of her and I taken on the day we had a party for her 80th birthday.

There were a number of photos taken on that day, with each of us and she looked so happy and while I don’t think she loved being photographed in general she most definitely let me take so many pictures on this day and I’m so glad she did.

This photo though. I wanted to share it because if I focus on myself in it, old stories have the opportunity to emerge. Yes, this is probably taken at my heaviest. Yes, my eyes are drawn to focus on my arms which are one of the parts of my body I still have some love to cultivate with. Yet those were my inner critics talking. I’ve learned through exploring self-love through self-portraiture that I have another choice, even when looking back at photos from the past.

But when I look at it without those critiques, I am choosing to not let those things be the story that is most important in this photo. I choose love.

So I let those momentary thoughts go rather than make them my reality.

Because I see such love in her eyes in this one and it makes me feel connected to her, to be able to look in her eyes with love even if she isn’t here on earth anymore.

I wanted to also share this with you to share a bit about what has been going on behind the scenes here and to share this photo that I’m choosing to see with love with you. I wanted to share this with you in case you have photos of loved ones who have passed away that could be healing to see without self-critique of ourselves in it. I wanted to share this with you in hopes that next time you are with family, you’ll take more photos (even if you and your family aren’t all that fond of having your photo taken).

Again I’m reminded at how valuable photographs feel in my life, not just self-portraits, as a way to be able to look back on our lives & people we love.

January 26, 2014

Taking Care

Behind the scenes over here there is some personal stuff going on that is weighing heavy on my heart. Its hard living so far from family when things are tough, so in these times it feels more important than ever to show up & support myself.

Thankfully, we’ve been blessed with some gorgeously sunny days here and my gut said “Get outside and Go”. So I did. On Friday I went for a gigantic bike ride and yesterday I took my camera and went for a long walk. I ended up walking for 4 hours, practically around the city and while my feet were screaming by the end…it was deeply nourishing in a way I didn’t expect could even happen right now.

Feeling the sun on my face, saying good morning to kind strangers, seeing the beauty of the world around me, listening to the waves as I walked along the beach. It was exactly what I needed.

I’m reminded once again of the importance of getting out on these photo walks. I often in Be Your Own Beloved (which starts in less than a week by the way) about how even a 5 minute photo walk around the block or in our backyard can shift our energy. I’m so glad that yesterday I brought my camera along with me and now have this trail of images that will remind me of this tool of taking care & being a support for myself when I need it.

Plus, those hearts found along the way…amazing. Sometimes it feels like when I get out for these wanders that the world around me shows up in support too in these subtle ways that can’t help but make me smile.

November 27, 2013

Behind the Scenes

I feel like I’ve been sharing a lot of news and adventures this fall with you here on the blog but behind the scenes there has been a lot more going on. Good, tender, healing, vulnerable stuff. The kind that I generally keep a bit quiet. But today felt like a day when I thought I’d share it with you, a bit of what has been going on behind the scenes.

Behind the scenes I’ve been showing up for big dreams. Writing. Working on that book I mentioned a few months back. Writing a book proposal and putting it out to the world (or rather, a few publishers).

Behind the scenes I’ve been holding onto hope when one showed very excited interest. Holding onto the belief that this could actually happen. Then negotiating the ouch of the rejection that I know is a part of finding a publisher that is the right fit for this book. Then cultivating resilience.

Behind the scenes I’ve been stepping into a new stage of ‘Being my Own Beloved’ and seeing the years of healing through self-portraiture lead to a softening, a quieting of my inner critic and what feels like some deep wounds being healed.

Behind the scenes I’m tucked away in the back corner of my favourite cafe commenting on photos in my E-Course flickr group. I am truly in awe of photos the Be Your Own Beloved participants have been sharing this session. This session they have been so very brave, so vulnerable, so inspiring and I am SO deeply grateful for them and for the fact that I get to do this work in the world. So grateful.

Behind the scenes I’m feeling the absence of having a few close friends moving out of town, feeling the vulnerability of seeking out new friends and gratitude for a book club I recently joined that is so meeting that need. Behind the scenes I am noticing how much time alone I spend and its value, as well as the ways I keep people at bay.

Behind the scenes I have my nose in a book in a cafe, or an audiobook coming through my earphones on yet another long walk. Or I am just walking and letting ideas form (creating that space for ideas feels like an important part of my creative process).

Behind the scenes I am just feeling a bit more quiet than usual. Perhaps its because of the dark season. Behind the scenes I am remembering the tools I’ve cultivated over the years to get through the grey season without going into the blues. Putting winter self-care policies into place.

Behind the scenes I am spilling ideas into my journal and deepening my commitment to this work, both in terms of my own healing as well as the work I’m putting out into the world.

All of these things are kind of hard to put into words and feel way to personal or private, or in some cases too simple to spill into big blog posts. But we all have things going on behind the curtain, behind the scenes and today I just wanted to whisper them to you so you know that if I’m a bit quiet over here, its with good reason. Of healing, of showing up, of being let down, of resilience, of learning, of writing, of hoping, of preparing, of repairing.

How are you, behind the scenes?

July 23, 2013

Dear 35

I feel choked up writing to you.

Because as 36 nears, I just feel so grateful for you and while its always hard to see the big picture in the middle of it, you were the year so much changed.

You were the year I found my way home to a place of love in my own body.

You were the year I found what I feel like is my purpose in the world.

You were the year in which I found the way to help people that most lights me up.

You were the year I really started to recognize the woman in the mirror as a friend.

You were the year I walked through some fire to find those good things.

You were the year I learned to stop hiding my own light.

You were the year I started to drop my armour blocking my heart from hurt.

You gave me more than I could have asked for in one year and taught me that it is okay to ask for even more.

You were the year I stopped believing I wasn’t worthy of love, without having someone prove that to me.

You were the year I stopped standing in my own way.

You were the year I fell in love with hiking.

You were the year I learned to radiate.

You were the year I felt truly believed in.

You were the year that changed me.

You were also the year that doesn’t know all the answers, or what is ahead. You weren’t perfect but you were transformative. You were what so many of those years have been working towards and you have helped me lay groundwork for what is ahead. You didn’t get the 2 wishes you called upon when 35 arrived but girl, you sure did work towards them.

36 is almost here and I feel more trust than ever that this year will open up to even more beautiful learning. I don’t expect 36 to be perfect by any means, but I am seeing all the ways that 35 has laid groundwork for your potential. I expect that I really will have to keep showing up for myself and not getting in my own way and if I succeed in that. You could change everything too.

So 35, its our last day together before I move onto the next year and I just want to say thank you and I loved you (even when you hurt).

With my whole heart,

viv

June 12, 2013

Everything I know about Buying Glasses!

So, I’ve been a glasses wearer since my teens and my eye sight is pretty bad, so a glasses girl I shall be!

I tried contacts for a bit when I was a teen, but I’ve always felt that glasses were fun to wear and that I felt more ‘me’ with them. I confess so much so that sometimes I need to take self-portraits without them on to see myself bare, unmasked as I want to feel ‘me’ with our without them!

The other day I got an email from a lovely friend asking for advice around buying glasses and she emailed back ‘You HAVE to write a blog post about this’ and I definitely think this one is overdue as people ask about my glasses online almost daily! So like the recent gear post, I want to have a place to send you with all the info!

The vintage pair I mention below.

Vintage Glasses

Oh my. Being a glasses wearer used to be mighty expensive. You’d easily have to pay $500-$700+ for glasses and lenses. Then of course, I’d make that pair of glasses last for as long as possible until they broke and there was no choice but to buy new ones. I’m glad those days are over.

When my old blue pair of glasses broke right in the nose bridge as I was cleaning them (I would have needed to tape them together geek-style to repair them) I started searching out new options for getting glasses. I think the online optical stores were appearing but I wasn’t yet ready to try them. Plus, after a couple decades of wearing pretty simple glasses, I was craving something bold.

I had been looking for a good vintage pair of glasses for a long time, granny style, and finally found a pair at the Vancouver Flea Market. The best part was that the prescription was almost the same as mine! Usually when I’d try on vintage glasses the prescription was so different that I couldn’t even see myself in the mirror through them to see if they worked. This pair was so close that I actually wore them for a few days to see if I wanted to make them into my own prescription.

To get them made into my prescription I went to an in person optical store. I learned that putting lenses into vintage glasses is kind of risky as they might break so glasses needed to be in good condition as they need to heat the plastic of the frame to insert the lens. They said these ones were pretty good but there was a chance they would be okay, so I went for it and luckily they came through. I won’t tell you what store it was as it was the worst customer service, but most places will put in lenses for you so try somewhere local to you!

Some of the best places I’ve found to seek out vintage glasses are:

Any regular old thrift store or flea market. You never know where you are going to find a good pair of vintage glasses.
Etsy! There are endless amazing vintage glasses on Etsy. Here are some vintage cat-eye ones. As I mentioned, not all glasses will work so I definitely recommend checking out their condition in the photos (you don’t want cracks or breaking anywhere).
Hollywood Vintage in Portland Oregon. The best in-person collection of vintage glasses I’ve ever seen is at this store in Portland, just in case you live there or are visiting and in search of new (old) glasses!
Ebay is also a great place to find old vintage glasses online and you are likely to be able to find them at pretty cheap prices too!

Glasses: Derek Cardigan 7006

My Favourite Online Glasses Options

Buying glasses is revolutionizing things for us glasses wearers! Not having it be a brick and mortar store allows the companies to offer glasses a lot more affordably.

In order to place an online order you’ll still have to visit an optician in person of course to get your prescription. Once you’ve got that you are almost ready to order online. Usually you’ll get all the information you need except your PD (Pupilary Distance) but its super easy to figure that out. Here’s a tutorial on how!

Then you’re ready to order! So I though I’d share a few of my favourite places to get glasses online with you.

Clearly Contacts (called Coastal in the U.S.)

This is the main place I’ve gotten glasses is from Clearly Contacts. They are a Vancouver based company but are available throughout the world. Initially looking at their glasses it felt like they were way nicer and funkier than the average in person or online option. As it happens, they have lines specifically designed for them and they feel really on trend. While so many of their glasses are amazing, I’m a big fan of the brands Derek Cardigan and Love, both made specifically for them. Clearly Contacts actually just opened a brick and mortar store in Vancouver, so if you are local you can actually go try on a lot of their glasses there.

Clearly Contacts (or Coastal) have a first pair free offer. Amazing, right? If your prescription is intense (like mine) you will have to pay for lens upgrades, so it may not be totally free, but still a great price.

If you like their frames, I totally recommend following them on Facebook (here for Coastal) as they regularly have sales on frames. These sales happen so frequently that I recommend deciding on the frame you like and then waiting a week or two as there will be sale of some sort very soon (there always is)!

Zenni Optical

The price range for Zenni Optical is even cheaper than Clearly Contacts. They too make their own frames and prices range from $6-$40 (wow, right). I feel like they might not be as good quality as CC but are drastically cheaper, so why not!

So far I have only gotten a pair of sunglasses from there which I’m totally happy with. They are also the place that seem to have glasses most similar to my present favourite cat eye ones, so if you’re hoping to find cat-eye glasses be sure to check them out!

Other Online options:

I haven’t personally purchased from any of these companies, only because they don’t ship to Canada (they should change that, eh) but I hear good things about all of these. Plus, they all have really funky glasses. Now that glasses don’t cost an arm and a leg, it is fun to join in on trends for glasses whereas before I would have totally just chosen a more classic pair to try to make them last. There are other companies online, but these are the ones I hear the best reviews of. Plus, I confess I judge a company by whether or not they have ‘Cat-Eye’ as a shape you can search for in their line of glasses!

Warby Parker

Lookmatic

BonLook

How to Figure out What Glasses Work for You!

Figuring out what shape of glasses really works for you is definitely the hard part of finding glasses. My biggest recommendation, especially if you are planning on ordering online, is to go into a glasses store and try on some frames and figure out what shape works for you.

If you already have glasses that you like the width of across your face or the height of, I definitely found it useful to make note of those lengths and use them when finding glasses online (every pair of glasses will have that info listed)!

On many of the online eyeglasses company have the option of uploading your own photo and you can see the glasses on your photo. It is actually kind of fun to do, but I wouldn’t judge the glasses only by that if you really like them as they will look different on you than in the photo. My favourite pair didn’t really work in the photo but I love them the most in person. So especially with companies like Clearly Contacts (where you can return them) it is worth it to try them on in person!

Left: Derek Cardigan 7005 Middle: Love L747 Right: Kam Dhillon 3027

So I hope that was helpful for my dear fellow glasses wearers!