Category Archives: Self Love

What are the stories we believe about our bodies?

What if they weren’t true…especially those ones your inner critic has invited you to believe?

What if you offered yourself space to step back and acknowledge what you have taken to be true stories about your body (perhaps even with photos seen as proof of those old stories). What if the camera could also be a tool for re-writing those stories?

That’s what we’re doing this coming month in the Body Stories Class and leading up to getting started I’ve been asking the folks already registered to start noticing what they are (and when you sign up I’ll send you over that invite too).

But today I thought I’d share some of the ways that our bodies stories often come up and how we can notice them.

When we say ‘TOO’ about ourselves

The word ‘Too’ is a major red flag that you’re speaking a body story in your head or aloud.

Too big, too small, too curvy, too outside the norm, too visible, too invisible, too different, too tall, too petite, too….anything.

When we use the word TOO it means that we’ve created a norm that is enough or worthy and that we see ourselves as outside of that. But we are not. We have the freedom to shift what we perceive as the norm and include ourselves in it!

When we have a story that goes “I can’t _________ because _________”

I’ve had SO many of these. The stories of things you want to do, wear, be, and the reason you can’t which is usually something about our bodies. That there are certain things that someone of our shape and size should or shouldn’t be doing or wearing or feeling empowered by.

For me, one of those was wearing running tights. I had banned myself from wearing running tights, especially the ones where I might be able to see my upper thighs. But then slowly but surely, I eased towards them and one day it happened. I shared about that body story here and how I realized that day that I could rock running leggings and it wasn’t because my body had shrunk, but in fact because my shame around my body had!

The things people said once that we hold to be true

This is a big one. What are those stories that perhaps someone once said, that we hold as truth? I think we all have these and I know many are from my formative years when I was in the midst of developing my sense of self and these words got written into the dialogue of my worthiness.

One of the ways that has helped me let go of some of these, which is to put it into context and remember that it was actually a reflection of the body stories of the person who said it. And I chose to let it be mine too, but I don’t have to. It’s not the truth, it’s someone else’s interpretation of my body and it’s worthiness. It’s a simple thing…it has taken a lot of practice to remember to do in the moment I’m living that body story.

When we reject compliments

A powerful place to notice our body stories and catch ourselves in ones that no longer serve us is to notice when we reject or invalidate or defer a compliment. Compliments are someone offering us kindness and sharing the beauty or gratitude they have for us. We can chose to reject it or let it in. And yes, letting it in is vulnerable. And it takes practice. Let’s not shame ourselves for rejecting compliments though, but instead notice when we do. What are the new stories people might be offering you that you could let in.

I shared in this blog post how a comment from my boxing coach woke me up to a body story I had about my legs and how it helped shift a story I’d been holding onto for a LONG time about my body and it’s worthiness.

When we compare ourselves to someone else 

When it really comes down to it, we are in a body story when we separate ourselves from the fact that our bodies (yup, everyones body) is inherently worthy. No one is exempt from that, even if we have tried to convince ourselves that ours is not.

When we compare ourselves to others we have created that standard of what is worthy and are not including ourselves in it. In all of the new Be Your own Beloved programs this year including Body Stories we are working on shifting our perception of ‘the norm’ or that standard we have been comparing ourselves too and inviting ourselves to be included in what we see as worthy, as enough, as lovable…yes, even beautiful!

Anything our Inner Critic Says!

Our inner critic is an awesome storyteller isn’t it. It has a way of reminding us of all these things above, of bringing back these stories again and again. And of course, our inner critic is trying to protect us and keep us safe from change. It wants us to stay in our old stories. But it doesn’t have our best interests at heart. We do.

Noticing what is coming from our inner critic is most definitely a way to acknowledge a body story. In all of the Be Your Own Beloved classes our goal is to strengthen our own voice outside of our inner critic and redefine how WE see ourselves.

So if you’re inner critic says it, it’s a body story (and not the truth)!

And yes, we all have body stories. But the more we can wake up to them and acknowledge them, the more we can shift away from them. So how do we change them?

One of the most powerful ways that has helped me is yes, the camera! It is BECAUSE the camera and yes, selfies brings up our body stories that it can be a place where we change those stories. That’s what we’re doing in the Body Stories Class…we’re noticing and starting the process of letting go of our old stories, opening the door for new ones to emerge.

This is an invitation to listen deeply to the voice inside us that might be whispering alongside a loud inner critic, but it’s there…that voice saying “I don’t believe that story I’ve held about my body and I’m ready for a new one.”

Join me in reclaiming your voice of compassion back from your inner critic and from the ways you’ve been defining your worthiness though stories that you have about your body!

The Body Stories class starts March 1st (only a few days away) and once you register I’ll get you set up with some pre-class questions to ponder!