Category Archives: Self Portraits

Is Using a Filter on Your Self-Portrait Hiding?

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When we use filters on our selfies as we share them online…are we hiding?

Are we using those filters to mask ourselves? Or are they artistic expression?

Is using a filter a bad thing?  Is it more ‘truthful’ to not use a filter?

When I started teaching Be Your Own Beloved, these questions came up in discussions with some of the participants.  It was so intriguing to me, as I hadn’t thought of using filters as hiding…but I was interested in why that was a pretty common experience for a lot of the folks in my class.

Now…if you aren’t familiar with what I mean by ‘filter’, it is anything that we layer on top of a photo.  Some apps provide filters (like Instagram) that are a combination of effects that alter the photo.  Other apps like Pic Tap Go allow you to add all sorts of features one by one.  These layers might be things like brightening the photo, changing the colour & tones, adding some texture or a border.  Much like you might layer effects in something like the website PicMonkey.

My exploration of photography began just as the most basic camera phones were emerging (let alone options to use filters) and as I started to explore using a digital camera, I noticed the way that everyone else’s photos seemed so much brighter than mine so I went on a mission to figure out why this was.  I learned about photoshop and got playful with it, as well as websites like PicMonkey (well, in that era it was called Picnik).  I learned about how to change contrast & add colour and my photos finally had the same vibrancy that everyone else’s seemed to.  I most definitely fell head over heals with using texture and layers on my photos too.

So when iPhones and Apps & filters emerged I was thrilled that it was now way easier to add a little spark to our photos!  Not only that, but using filters allows us to discover our own style.  Do we love black and white photos? Or a little bit of brightening to our face in the self-portrait?  Do we love adding a layer that almost looks like fog or softening to our photos?

Quite honestly, it never felt like hiding to me, but I absolutely want to honour that for some people it does.

To me, it felt like these filters were now going to make it so much easier for me to get creative with my self-portraits and to take a photo that I might have thought was okay and transform it into something I felt really proud of, within seconds.

As a portrait photographer, this is part of the process…picking out which images have that extra spark or let your client shine.  Then we process your photo deciding what changes help the photo shine even more.  The tools portrait photographers use are reflected in a lot of those filters that you might use on Instagram.  Adding a brightness, or more contrast, adding a texture or turning it into black and white.

This is part of the fun of taking photographs and yes, self-portraits…figuring out which one lets us shine.

In fact, I think a filter can often be a way that we can take a photo that may bring up old stories of how we see ourselves and help shift it into a photo that we might be able to really see ourselves with kindness in.

Plus, the thing about self-portraiture is that:

We get to decide when & how its taken.

We get to pick which one out of the many we took feels like it lets us shine the most.

And we get to choose what we want to do before sharing it.

Its vulnerable to share our photos online too…so in my opinion, filter or no filter…pushing past that vulnerability is something to be proud of!

It seems like a creative, empowered choice to share our photos online and process them in a way that makes us feel good about the photo.

You didn’t stop yourself from taking it…

You didn’t delete it after taking it…

You chose to share it and let us see you  Sure, sometimes when we use filters, it might blur out parts of us or add so much texture that we might be less visible in the photo.  But I hope you’ll ponder that in fact this might not be hiding after all.  You still are getting creative with it and sharing it…and all of those layers and the choices you made in getting creative with them is a way of letting us see you too, through your style of processing the photo.

Perhaps if there is a filter that really feels like a safety net to you, something that you do feel like you hide behind…maybe there is another filter out there that is similar in the tools it uses, but that could feel like a filter that helps you shine, rather than hide?

And is posting a photo filter free…better?  This is a longstanding conversation in photography in general…but to be honest, I don’t feel like posting a self-portrait is better filter-free.  It might be a way we can step out of our comfort zone (which is SO powerful) to share a photo filter free, but I don’t think it disvalues the ones we do add a filter too.   As you might have noticed, I’m not really into seeing some self-portraits as ‘better’ in general (a foot photo being less valuable than a full body self-portrait for example.  Both are brave)!  If you don’t use filters…awesome! If you do…thats awesome too!

My personal style of using filters these days has become much more subtle than when I first started using them, but I almost always add a little something to a self-portrait to help it reflect the vibrancy that I want it to hold.

I thought I’d bring up this subject today in case you feel like each time you have a filter on a photo, you aren’t being truthful enough by sharing it filter-free.  Lets go of the idea of using filters of hiding.  I happen to think it is brave creativity in action.

Lets re-work the idea of filter as being something that we ‘hide’ behind to being something that helps us shine, that invites us to feel more confident sharing our photo & seeing ourselves with compassion.  So lets use our filters with pride today…and if you do, please tag it with #beyourownbeloved so I can cheer you on!

How do you feel about using filters on your photos?  I’d love to open up a conversation in the comments here about this subject…and I’d love to hear from you!

Re-Sparking a Love Affair with my DSLR

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Last year was the year of the iPhone over here!

I most definitely took more iPhone self-portraits than DSLR photos, primarily because as I teach Be Your Own Beloved I like to participate alongside the participants with my iPhone rather than my DSLR…as the journey in that class isn’t just about how fancy your photo is…it is about telling your story through your camera (any camera…yes, even a cell phone camera).

Every month at some point I’d get out with my DSLR (if you’re wondering what gear I love, there is a post all about it over here), but after years of it being my primary way of documenting the world around me in that magical way that a DSLR can do…I confess I missed it!

I’m craving to re-spark a love affair with my DSLR.

So this year I want to make an effort to bring out the big camera more, both to document the world around me, step into the frame and I’m so excited to do more photo sessions too!

The other day I donned my thrifted cowboy boots and took my camera to the community garden and it was surprisingly quiet so I found myself feeling free to take lots of photos in some spots at the garden that are usually busy!

Here are a few photos from that adventure!

How about you?  Do you favour your cell phone camera over a DSLR?  What is your favourite camera to shoot with?

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Finding Moments of Respite

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Unencumbered.

Freedom.

Relief & Respite from my Inner Critics.

For a long time, that all seemed very far off.

I felt encumbered, weighed down, marked for a path of self-hate or at least a lifetime spent trying to figure out my way out of it.

Healing our self-hate doesn’t happen in one instant.

It isn’t sudden, but we can cultivate a path that leads us there, creating more and more moments of respite from it along the way.

Thats the way it has been for me…starting with moments that felt unencumbered and free.

When do you feel free from self-hate?  Its worth noting those places…will you take a moment and ponder them with me?

Maybe it when we are in the water at a very quiet lake, swimming and feel free & weightless.

On a camping adventure where we haven’t seen a mirror in days but just feel like ourselves in the woods?

Dancing at an outdoor concert surrounded by thousands of people but feeling like you’re dancing like no one is watching?

Or perhaps it is around some dear friends who are really supportive that you just feel like you have the weight of those feelings lifted by their support?

Where did you notice you felt unencumbered & free?

One of the places that I discovered that feeling really shocked me, it was yes….you guessed it…when I would put down my camera in a quiet spot and step into the frame but it wasn’t just standing there that made me feel free.  It was inviting playfulness into the mix.

It might be dancing or skipping, or just moving in whatever awkward way felt right for me on that day.  That playfulness has always been the key for me stepping out of the cage of self-hate.

I like to say that “Playfulness is the antidote to Fear” and I think the same could be said for self-hate.  It truly does physically do something to help me shift then endorphins from being low to feeling energized and back in my body.

Want to try it? Maybe get a little playful in front of the camera today and see if it feels like freedom (try it…it might not seem like it will, but it just may surprise you)!

To be honest, it only started to feel like I was really ‘free’ from my inner critic on an every day basis about a year ago.  It had been a really long haul getting to this point.  I do feel like self-portraiture has been pivotal in that, but it didn’t shift immediately.  It wasn’t just one photo.  It was all those little moments of finding a place where I felt free, unencumbered.  Those little moments might be a short respite at first, but I found that the more I created those pockets of respite, the closer and closer I came to having it be not just an occasional respite, but the way I could live my life as a whole.

I don’t have it all figured out though.  Some days I still need those pockets of respite, those moments of freedom that feel like a deep breath and remind me that self-love is available….for all of us.

UnencumberedSharingCircleBadge200pxThis post is part of the Unencumbered Sharing Circle, a gathering of honest first-hand stories about self-loathing, self-love, and the journey between the two. Read more stories, and share your own, right here.

Taking Care

IMG_6220Behind the scenes over here there is some personal stuff going on that is weighing heavy on my heart.  Its hard living so far from family when things are tough, so in these times it feels more important than ever to show up & support myself.

Thankfully, we’ve been blessed with some gorgeously sunny days here and my gut said “Get outside and Go”.  So I did.  On Friday I went for a gigantic bike ride and yesterday I took my camera and went for a long walk.  I ended up walking for 4 hours, practically around the city and while my feet were screaming by the end…it was deeply nourishing in a way I didn’t expect could even happen right now.

Feeling the sun on my face, saying good morning to kind strangers, seeing the beauty of the world around me, listening to the waves as I walked along the beach.  It was exactly what I needed.

I’m reminded once again of the importance of getting out on these photo walks.  I often in Be Your Own Beloved (which starts in less than a week by the way) about how even a 5 minute photo walk around the block or in our backyard can shift our energy.  I’m so glad that yesterday I brought my camera along with me and now have this trail of images that will remind me of this tool of taking care & being a support for myself when I need it.

Plus, those hearts found along the way…amazing.  Sometimes it feels like when I get out for these wanders that the world around me shows up in support too in these subtle ways that can’t help but make me smile.

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