Category Archives: Self Portraits

The Evolution of a Self-Portrait Photographer

Sometimes I like go go back into my Flickr stream, find the last page (the oldest photo) and just start looking at the photos in order, from past to present.  In fact I find it kind of fun to adventure into other people’s Flickr streams and do this…especially folks I might find myself being inspired by (or even intimidated by) and see where they came from, how their photography or art has evolved, and the slow yet beautiful process that we all go through to find our voice as photographers or artists.

So I thought today I’d invite you along on this adventure with me and share a bit of the evolution of how my adventures in self-portraiture began and evolved.  This feels important to share, to not just show you the photos of now, but to share a little bit of how the learning along the way is so important in taking photos now.

It all began, both my adventures in photography and self-portraiture, in 2005 I got that cute little silver point & shoot and joined a 365 project group on Flickr.  At the time there was also a website called Self-Portraiture Tuesday that had weekly prompts to explore.  I had just caught the photo-addiction bug and was taking photos of all the beauty I came across but those two project helped me start to turn the camera towards myself.

That photo on the top left…thats the first photo you’ll find in my Flickr stream!  Where it began!  These are a collection of the first selfies I took.

I wanted to share with you where it all started.  Where we all start.  Just bravely and playfully going for it…risking feeling silly for the sake of feeling creative and feeling seen.

Looking through the photos from way back then in 2005 I feel this big love for her.  She was working night shifts 40 hours per week and going coming out the other end of a funk (aka depression).  In some of the photos in my stream I see her fatigue, her weariness, her burnout and I am so grateful to her for  still showing up in front of the camera on those days.  Especially on those days.

The first stretch of selfies are very much in the mirror shots with my camera in hand and this was my happy place for the first year or two.  Then things shifted and I started to experiment with shooting so the camera wasn’t in the shot and then even trying to put the camera on the ground.

It was around that time that I had the opportunity to go live in the SF Bay area for a few months and thats where the adventure truly blossomed.  I was staying nearby the most gorgeous cemetery that had acres and acres of land to explore and would spend all my free time wandering there or around the neigbourhood and just seeking bits of beauty.

I was also soaking up the gorgeous California sun after years of not only living in a grey city, but doing those night shifts.  I feel like this time in California thawed me out, got me rested up and woke me up.  This was definitely the time when I truly became a Light Hunter and built an even stronger understanding of light and how to explore it through my camera.

Once I returned from California, the addiction continued.  Props especially scarves and skirts became my inspiration and I started to go on even more regular photo adventures.  I found a few places nearby that became my selfie spots: a ravine a block away, an unused railway track and a botanical garden nearby.

I feel like it was the California months and the months after when I really started to feel like I had found my voice, in 2010.  This is 5 years after I initially started exploring photography and self-portraiture that I felt like I could speak my stories the way I craved to into my photos.  So yes, when I look back at those first 5 years, I see the way I was learning so much and I needed to go through them to find my way home to my own voice.

While all along the way self-portraiture has been about showing up for myself and re-writing stories, it was this time that I really started to dig deeper, to let myself move more in photos, to be more playful, to let the light help me create my vision.  I found so much healing in taking these photos.

This is where sharing my love for photography started, when I began teaching You are Your Own Muse (my pre Be Your Own Beloved era self-portrait E-Course) and other courses that followed like Be Your Own Beloved (which registration is now open for)!  Sure, my shooting was often now for a blog post or for new content for class, but that didn’t lessen the experimentation.  It didn’t change the fact that I was still re-writing stories, still healing, still needed to show up for myself on a regular basis in front of the camera.

These days I feel like self-portraiture has really blossomed as a whole with the growth of so many of us having little iphone or phone cameras and ways to share it like Instagram.  It feels much more accessible now for folks to have a digital camera and  I love how many people are turning their camera on themselves and that it is becoming much more normalized to.

And here I am.  7 years after that first photo.  Still learning. Still a beginner at heart.   Still letting my voice evolve.  Still savouring the sunshine.  Still healing.  Still sharing.  Still learning new tricks.  Still creating.  Still showing up in front of the camera and creating a visual narrative of this life.

Where has your journey taken you?  Perhaps taking a bit of time today to look back in your Flickr stream or at your photos for even just the last year and see how you’re grown, how you’ve evolved, what might have been point along the way where you made a leap.  I’d love to hear your story of evolution too!

A Year of Self-Portraits

twirling

A big part of why I take self-portraits (and encourage others to) is because they help us create a visual narrative of our lives, to tell the story of our adventures and to be able to document them.  In each of the moments that I take them, my hope is just to document that moment but together they create a map of the year took us (but with us in the photos, not just behind the camera).

So in thinking about this past year, I started looking at the photos I took each month and pulled out a few selfies from each month and have gathered them up here to reflect on.  Its hard to pick a favourite as they are all little pieces of the puzzle of 2012.  Thats the thing about taking self-portraits.  To me they aren’t about vanity…or which one did I look best in.  They are all just little moments of creating space and witnessing ourselves.  I think what becomes a favourite for me is one where I learned something new.  Like the red boot photo where I almost deleted it. Or the February Shadow photo because its so playful and its always so good to get friends in on the silliness.  As well, all of the August Whistler photos mean a whole lot for me as that was the first time I brought You are Your Own Muse into a live in-person workshop and it was a beautiful weekend for me.

Did you have a favourite self-portrait you took this year?  One that meant the most?

So here’s my year in review, one year in the story of this adventure called life.

January

February

March

April

friday strollfound

May

June

July

August

September

October

November

December

P.S. Did you see there is a brand new self-portrait E-Course called Be Your Own Beloved running this February?  More on the new E-Course here!

Swooning Over ~ Hipstamatic

Oh hipstamatic...you are wooing me back to you with the awesome new tintype lens!

When I got an iPhone, the first app I downloaded was Hipstamatic.  I had been swooning over the photos folks were taking with it and couldn’t wait to try it.  For the first while I used nothing else, but then Instagram took over and I hadn’t really opened the Hipstamatic app since then.

Until yesterday when the lovely Rachael Ashe posted this photo on Instagram and I was totally breath taken and had to try it out.  I’ve always loved the Tintype images though I’ve never had one taken (you can still get them done at places like Rayko Photo Centre in the SF Bay Area).  I’m kind of amazed how well they made this lens look like it, especially the tones Rachael got in her photo.  Of course, nothing replaces the real thing.  Yet I feel like there is something really special about the Tintype Lens and Film by Hipstamatic that I haven’t see in any other filter before, as it really makes your eyes pop, which is divine for portraits or selfies.  I don’t tend to take many portraits with my iPhone but I’m likely to make any friends I see in the next week pose for a photo!

Playing with this app also reminded me of when I first started into the land of self-portraiture, but before I took the self-portait adventuring outside.  At first, the bathroom was the perfect place to give it a try to aim the camera at myself.  I also still love it as you can use the mirror to help see your screen if you’re like me and have an old school iPhone that doesn’t have a camera on both sides (or if you are using a point and shoot you can look in the mirror to see what the viewfinder is showing and help compose your selfie!

Here are a few more, all taken with some variation of the Tintype lens and different Hipstamatic film filters, oh and they also have a new multi-exposures option (and you know how much I love double exposures).  Hipstamtic, you are doing mighty good job of wooing me back to you!

Behind the Whimsy

free
Behind the twirling is a tightly wound sense of self-protection, from being told the way I moved my body was wrong.

Behind the jumping is a feeling of being held down by gravity, believing that nothing would ever change.

Behind the swirl of a skirt is a girl who sits on her hands as otherwise they fidget and fly freely when she talks.

Behind the feet standing in a ray of light is a woman who thought she was invisible.

Behind the dance is a life long journey to feel present in her own skin.

Behind the photo is something different than the viewer might see.

But the story the viewer sees is just as important. That craving to feel free, to create spaces where one can ‘dance like no one is watching’, but if I don’t tell you that there are deeper stories behind these images where I am cultivating whimsy and freedom, I fear you might believe that whimsy is something frivolous or some utopian place you can’t go.

But you can.

Whimsy is respite.

Twirling is freedom.

Jumping is release.

Dancing is self-love.

And we all deserve to stand in the light.

Behind the photo is a much different story than what you see but I want you to remember the whimsy, to seek out those moments for yourself, in whatever way that happens for you.

Because to me, whimsy isn’t wimpy.  It isn’t childlike.  It isn’t goofy.  It is sacred and radical.

Gettin’ the Sillies Out

photo 2

Yes.

Sometimes the best way to show up for yourself is to smile as wide as you possibly can and pretend that the cat drawn on the wall behind you is peeking out from behind your shoulder.

Sometimes this feels as theraputic, as freeing as a photo in which you are finally able to see your beauty.

Sometimes seeing our beauty isn’t just about the story of our physicality but letting our spirit shine through in a photo.

Sometimes redefining your relationship to your self-image is about downright cracking yourself up.

Sometimes you’ve just gotta get the sillies out.