Category Archives: Self Portraits

June 4, 2012

An Experiment in Self-Portraiture

So, I’m starting an experiment over here.

When I sat down with my journal and brainstormed ways to make action on my ‘Be Yourself’ Business Plan (and life plan), an idea that came up really surprised me. It was to do some fashion blogging. Oh my.

It makes sense though.

It can involve self-portraiture
I love clothing and style (especially style that invites you to ‘be yourself’)
I adore fashion blogs and OOTD (outfit of the day posts) particularly from body positive blogs or fatshionistas.

So I thought, why not experiment with it?

The experiment for me is playing around with the purpose of taking self-portraits. In my courses I really try to highlight that it is an artistic act, that we can be our own model, be in control, be in charge of the way we see ourselves in our images.

In reading fashion blogs (or at least the ones that I read which are centred around body-positivity ie. loving and celebrating your body and all bodies…not just thin or stereotypically beautiful bodies) I see the same thing….people being themselves, taking control of the way they see themselves, getting dressed in something that makes them feel fabulous.

I see it as a way for us to see ourselves with kindness, to feel empowered, to be ourselves!

I don’t feel like either type of self-portraiture, whether it is to share our love of fashion or to create something for arts sake, is really that different.

Somehow I feel like if we add ‘fashion’ into the mix, those ideas that self-portraiture is vain comes up again. Is it more worthy to do it for arts sake or creativities sake than to do it to make ourselves feel empowered in how we get dressed in our every day life and express ourselves through our clothing?

So this is where the experiment comes in.

I want to try it out, see if it invites me to dress a little sharper, feel even better in my skin?

I want to see if it feels different than self-portraiture for arts sake and see if I learn anything new about that kind of self-portraiture? I also feel like fashion OOTD blogging is really outside of the blogging community that I’ve been reading or who I feel like my audience is…so I hope you’ll come along with me as I try out this experiment in having a new genre of content on the blog too.

I also want to see if it invites me to take self-portraits in a different way technically.

Remember that one line on my list? Burst outta the f-ckin’ box? I think this counts as that so I’m going to go for it!

So, let the adventure begin!

May 22, 2012

Inviting her into the Frame

intotheframe800

She grabs shame by the scruff.

Yet speaks to it kindly.

Telling it that it is not welcome here.

And it is time to leave.

It listens.

She walks with confidence, learned slowly but

Now impenetrable,

Not egotistic,

Just a knowing of what she is worth.

She is still soft. She always was.

Naivity combined with street smarts.

Whimsy that can’t be stepped on.

Her softness was never lost.

She doesn’t keep her truth quiet.

As complicated and intricate as it is

She has finally found the words

To speak it.

She has taken all the words and sideways glances

That she once took as truth and rewove

Them into a learning that life as she knows it

wouldn’t have happened without them.

Perhaps she won’t stop being angry, maybe she will.

But her anger reminds her of the importance of

self-love, self-care

And defining your own worth.

She is not yet who I am.

Or perhaps she is but that I just can’t yet see.

So I’ll keep on turning the camera on myself.

Inviting her into the frame.

***

This appeared this morning in response to a photo prompt I gave the Re-Writing the Story class yesterday. I’m experiencing this class differently than I’ve ever experiences one of my classes before….needing to take my own advice that I’m giving to the participants. I’m also so moved by their bravery, the way that they show up in their images and words in this class. So grateful that I get to cheer on and witness people showing up for themselves, taking control of their self-image through the camera and in turn, I get to dig even deeper into my own process of showing up for myself.

The Re-Writing the Story class is no longer offered but was a pre-cursor to the Be Your Own Beloved E-Course which explores a similar theme of creating new stories of how we see ourselves.

March 12, 2012

Lost and Found

Last month, during my time in the Bay Area, I had one day to spend wandering in the city. After I wandered the mission taking photos of the most beautiful murals (you can check out that post here) I headed to Chinatown.

You see, when I was staying here a few years ago, I found the most beautiful pink shoes.

Ones that captured the spirit of my time here, that reminded me of the inner pages of a Sabrina Ward Harrison Book.

The ones that would keep me smiling back in the Pacific Northwest rain or shine, the ones that would remind me of the tightly closed bud that turned into a bloom during my time there. I found them and bought two pairs to assure me that I would be able to remember all those things.

I wore them everywhere. These slipper like shoes soon were too dirty and too worn out to wear anymore. Well loved.

Last year when I came to town I was on a mission to find a new pair. My lovely friend Valerie joined me on my search for a new pair of my beloved pink flats. It happened to be Chinese New Year the day we went searching and the streets were packed. My search was fruitless. I had also lost the business card (or rather it was in a wallet that was stolen). I had no street names etched in my mind, only a memory of it being on the left side of a street going uphill (which could be any street in that area).

I hadn’t intended to try again this trip, but something led me there again. Before I knew it, I was back on a mission to find those pink shoes again.

Half an hour of walking up and down the streets, peeking in every store that remotely looked like it. Wasn’t this day supposed to be fun?

So I let go of that plan, let go of trying to find them just as Chinatown turned into North Beach and the streets changed direction. I kept walking and within a few blocks nothing was familiar any more. The change of the street direction had me with no clue where I was and which direction I should be heading in.

Rather than feeling fearful or lost, I found myself feeling free.

Sometimes we simply need to get lost to get out of our head.

To get reatuned to the feeling of intuition, of wonder, of not being in charge but to following what we know in our hearts.

So I kept walking, with a smile on my face. Knowing I would find my way back even if I had to wander a bit more.

I soon came across something familiar but that I had forgotten about. Another GORGEOUS alley of murals. I paused and put down my camera and stepped in front of it.

Feeling free from my search for something from the past and present in that which is part of the discovery of this moment.

The time came to head back to meet up with Valerie, I wandered back, content with the beauty of the city that I came across and feeling free from my obsessive search for the same pair of shoes 3 years later.

Then, mere blocks away I walked past a store I had never noticed before, on a street in a different direction than the one I was looking for and there they were.

The shoes.

Not the exact pink ones, but a radiant red pair.

A new variation.

I didn’t need to replace the past. I needed to look in a new direction for the future.

A new variation a woman in bloom and still blooming.

February 21, 2012

Muse Interview ~ Bella Cirovic

I’m so excited to share another Muse Interview with you! If you are new to checking out the Muse Interviews, they are chats with participants of either Wading In or You are Your Own Muse and an open invitation to reflect on their experiences exploring self-portraiture. You can check out all of the interviews over here.

I’m especially excited to share this chat with the fabulous Bella Cirovic with you! I met Bella years ago at an art retreat and have been so excited to see her create the 52 Photos Project and see her blossom as a photographer. Not only does she take stunning self-portraits but her portraiture is oh so gorgeous too. I love this session she did with Jen Lee and you can check out more of her work and stories at her website: She told Stories.

Now let’s chat with Bella!

When did you begin to take self-portraits?

After I began blogging in 2005, I occasionally participated in the popular Self Portrait Challenge as well as taking a few snapshots of myself with my camera at arm’s length. I wasn’t serious about self portraiture in the least until I signed up for You Are Your Own Muse in early 2011. I went out and bought myself a good tripod and camera remote to help me navigate and document this new form of self discovery.

What did you discover about yourself through self-portraits?

I found that prior to taking self portraits, I was really afraid of looking at myself. I mean, I had a mental picture of what I looked like in my mind, and that was enough for me. I was scared of seeing myself eye to eye through a photo, where all of my insecurities would be on display.

I learned that I was more capable of compassion than criticism. What I was seeing through the viewfinder or on a print was me, fully and wholly. I learned how to love on myself more, how to embrace my body which held and birthed a healthy baby, and how to appreciate the years of living that is beginning to show on my face. I discovered that I am no longer afraid of looking at myself because now I love who I see.

Where do you go to take self-portraits? Do you have a favorite spot?

I’m lucky to live on a quiet street in the woods near a lake. I love to walk down and around the bend to a place I have deemed my quiet spot. There is a big open meadow and a long line of tall trees as a backdrop. It’s my absolute favorite place to set up my tripod and get my self-portraiture on.

What is your favorite way to take self-portraits these days?

Well now that it’s winter and too cold to be adventurous outside, I’ve been setting up my tripod and camera in the kitchen, living room, and bedroom of my house. I’m documenting the moments and moods of my day as well as dressing up and having fun in front of the camera.

Do you have any tips for those folks just starting to turn the camera on themselves?

Allow yourself the space and freedom to be silly, to be sad, to laugh, to show your sexy, pouty lips, to dance, to stand still, to look to the side, and to smile big. Don’t be shy, just be you and if that’s difficult then try on a persona, like your favorite actress or singer. Take 100 pictures instead of just 1 or 2. And when you look back through your stack of photos, may you see yourself with a soft and gentle heart.

What was your favorite self-portrait you have taken? What makes it your favorite?

This particular morning, I was in an extra loving mood. I love how I was feeling and how I’m embraced by the morning light.

Bella Cirovic is a photographer who lives in the suburbs just outside of NYC. You can view her photography and writing at her website: She Told Stories or visit 52 Photos Project where she is the hostess with the mostest. Her motto for 2012 is: Bring It On!

February 17, 2012

Whimsy and Wonder

The way things sparkle,

The twirl of a skirt,

The circles of colour in unexpected light flare,

A laugh captured,

Catching air in a jump,

The beauty of the play between blur and focus,

Eyes closed in bliss.

Capturing wonder and whimsy has been a big part of my love of photograpy from the start. I found photography at a time (about 7 years ago) when I was in a pretty rough patch, a depression you could say.

I found it at a time when the world didn’t feel sparkly, glorious and joyful. Yet I picked up a super basic point and shoot and started to go in search of it.

In search of the wonderous, the little moments of whimsy, the way the world sparkled, the patches of glorious sunlight bursting through clouds. I went in search of it and what I found was that it was always there. Whether it was a 5 minute walk around the block or an hour stroll at the beach, there was always beauty to be found. There was always wonder if I went to look for it.

So today I dare you! I dare you to go out in search of it with your camera. You will indeed find it!

Whimsy and wonder became things that I am commited to seeing as much as I can. You know those moments when you see it in your camera lens…something unexpected, soulful, rich in magic.

These moments don’t end up on our way to long to-do lists, they don’t even seem like much of a priority at all. To some they may even seem soft, unncessasary, but I say whimsy and wonder aren’t wimpy! They represent joy to me. A joy I never want to lose again.

I’m mighty excited to be teaching a workshop starting oh so soon at the WishBIG e-camp. Camp starts on Sunday and my workshop is on Monday so be sure to sign up this weekend if you’d like to join. There are so many amazing teachers that are part of this class and I’m honoured to be one of them.

In my workshop, called Twirls and Jumps : Connecting with Whimsy and Wonder through Photography I’ll be sharing oh so many tips and activities for connecting with wonder in your photographic adventures. Yes, there will also be some tips on twirling and jumping too of course!

Click here to sign up to join us. I’d love to see you there!