Category Archives: Selfies

October 20, 2014

Selfies as Spiritual

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Shouldn’t we focus more on our soul than our bodies?

Shouldn’t we be celebrating our inner beauty?

Aren’t we more than just our bodies?

Isn’t it more important to be a good person inside than to celebrate our outer body/beauty?

These are questions or comments I get every once in a while on a photo or blog post, that focusing so much on our bodies doesn’t seem right (to them) and shouldn’t we focus more on the amazing spirit inside that body?

The answer I have is Yes. And No.

Yes inner beauty and our spiritual path (as in exploring our relationship to that which is beyond ourselves) are so vital. Yet I don’t see them as disconnected from the path of learning to love our bodies.

The journey to finding self-love for me and to being my own beloved has been both an internal and external one. Of befriending myself, filling up my own well, sitting with my loneliness, untangling stories of self-hate. It has indeed been about finding my own inner beauty. It has about becoming a person who is in tune with kindness as a core value both towards myself and others.

Yet these things are happening within a body. About a body. To disconnect the self-love journey from my body is to discount a whole deep well of potential healing.

Here is the truth I see around me and with so many folks who have come to join me for Be Your Own Beloved. They tell me that they’ve been on a self-love path for a long time but had been avoiding with dealing with that remaining piece of self-hate that hand been lurking in the shadows or in the way they saw themselves in photos. We are looking everywhere else for peace within without thinking of the possibility that external body-love could help us.

Because it’s supposed to be egocentric or vain to want to love our external body, right?

Learning to love your body isn’t vain or egocentric, especially when so many of us are coming from the opposite of ego.

You have the right to choose to love yourself.

Our internal and external selves are connected and if we love our personality, our drive, our mind, but still hate our bodies, we are living in hate. If we are focusing so much on our inner selves but still have hate towards our outer selves, that is yet another spiritual door awaiting us.

While the process of taking selfies is indeed about how we relate to our body in a photo, the photo is the tool for us to learn to love our bodies in our everyday lives too. It isn’t just about getting a new Facebook photo (though that is always a plus). It is about using the camera as a doorway to a more peaceful, compassionate relationship to ourselves and our self-image.

Which includes how we see our bodies from the outside be it a sideways glance in a store window and the reaction we have about seeing ourselves, or how we see our bodies each morning when we look in the mirror. Or, of course, how we see ourselves in a photo. Our relationship to self-image is a place where many of us have the potential to shift our relationship from a place of critique to kindness.

It often feels that using selfies as a tool for healing our body image isn’t as much about the photo we get itself as the journey we go on to get it and the way we choose to relate to the photo itself. It has felt like a deeply spiritual journey, far more connected to purpose than vanity.

But to me it is inherently related to our bodies.

To say we aren’t our bodies or we want to focus on our inner beauty leaves our body shame waiting for us, still hanging out waiting to be heard.

So to answer those questions of inner vs external beauty I wonder if we could reframe it:

What if our bodies and that our inner beauty can be strengthened by healing our relationship with our outer beauty. We have this deep & rich potential place of self-learning that feels deeply spiritual, with our body as our guide.

What if re-learning to love your external body when you have lived in a place of self-critique or dare I say self-hate could be a doorway to deep love, the same kind you might be looking for in meditation or as you create your altars.

What if we do indeed focus on exploring our inner beauty but stay open to seeing it as not disconnected or more important than the potential for compassionate and unconditional love for the body you are in.

I know it’s a scary process for a lot of us to step into. But what if selfies could be that unexpected tool that brings you to a greater place of peace with our self both internally & externally?

I know this isn’t the standard perception of what ‘selfie’ is but I know when we’ve tried everything else on our path of healing, sometimes we need to seek out tools in unexpected places. And if you aren’t sure where to begin on that path, you might want to come join me for the November Session of Be Your Own Beloved and I’ll help you take those first steps to heal that rift between your inner relationship to self & your external perceptions of your body.

October 14, 2014

Why I Dance in my Selfies

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I put the camera down

Press the timer

And I move.

At first I had to invite myself to. It was a way for me to shake off nervousness and get grounded in my body to take that photo.

These days it happens automatically. I set the timer & the playfulness begins.

99% of the time when I go out on a photo walk, I don’t have a specific goal in mind. Sure I might have something in mind but truth be told, the photo walk seems to always have its own direction it wants to take me in, always embracing the unpredictable. That 1% of course is when I need a super specific photo for a class!

All of these photos you see on the website are taken as I’m living what I’m teaching here, as I’m trying out activities or just trying to shift my own energy of that day.

In so many of my photos, I’m dancing.

It’s been that way for years and I think from the outside I bet it looks playful, joyful and even like a woman who feels at home in her body. While it wasn’t at first, it has led me there and I wanted to share a bit about why I dance in photos.

At times I have this voice in my head as I’m just about to press ‘Post’ on Instagram and share another movement photo that says “Is this really accessible for people, all these dancing photos?” “Do you really want to post another one”.

But here’s the truth.

I don’t take or show them for any purpose of showing off.

I take & share them because this is where the deepest healing of my self-image has happened.

When I move.

Someday I’ll share my full story of the depths of where I began with my negative self-image (its spilling into my manuscript) but a big part of my journey before taking self-portraits had me feeling like I needed to contain myself. To sit on my hands. To stop moving. To control how I existed in the world. To be contained & still.

And for whatever reason it may have manifested in our lives, I have a feeling I’m not alone in having felt deeply disconnected from my own body for much of my life. Is that familiar to you at all?

So when I realized that taking self-portraits was a place where I could relearn how to be in my own body, it was all about the movement.

It is the one sacred place where I’ve found I can reclaim that sense of autonomy of how I move in the world, where I have found a freedom that has allowed me to feel more at home in my body. It may look like fun, and indeed it is. But it has a deeper purpose for me than one viewing the photo might think. That can be such a powerful piece of taking selfies, the place where they can embody powerful stories of healing for us, even if the viewer sees something different.

Interestingly enough, photographs only capture that one second of the movement and package it into stillness again in a way, but somehow it doesn’t diminish the freedom that I felt in the moment. Because the experience of the freedom & healing that happens is in the lived experience of it, not just the outcome. The photographs are an invitation to return back there.

To keep moving.

To revisit that place of healing we can create when we make space to move our own way.

So this….this is why I dance.

Have you explored moving as you take a selfie just for fun or even as a tool for healing disconnection from our bodies?

September 24, 2014

Behind the Scenes of my Favourite Selfie Photo Shoot Spot

Want to know more about what happens behind the scenes of a Selfie Photo Shoot?

I’ve shared a some behind the scenes before like this one where I share all the outtakes of a photo shoot but in this case I really wanted to tell you a bit about finding a location for a selfie photo shoot.

I know it’s easy to see a photo someone takes and assume it was simple and easy. Or that in order to you to make that happen you’d have to go to that perfect spot, on a really good hair day in that outfit that you have yet to find, on a day you really feel good about your body. Then it becomes one of those things on our list of someday…right?

It’s easy to think that everyone is finding these dreamy locations right? But we aren’t. Most of us are making the most of the places we can find and are just going for it. Thats truly the difference in between someone with a camera full of awesome photos they took for their business or blog and those who don’t!

So here’s a bit of the behind the scenes about how I make this one work for me! But first, let’s break it down.

It looks serene doesn’t it? Like I’m in a forest way out in the country.

You’re hearing birds chirping and the wind blowing through the trees, right?

Not so much.

Here’s the truth.

I ride my bike out to this spot and park it, seeing what exact spot seems right on this day. To the right of me in the photo is a small creek with this trail built beside it. It’s lovely and thankfully not so picturesque that this is a really busy spot. To my left is a small patch of forest. While its lush enough to be a backdrop for photos, for much of it I can see through to the gigantic office buildings on the other side.

Behind me, and at the other end of the path are two very busy roads. So I don’t hear any bird chirping or wind blowing. It’s beeping of horns, car doors slamming in the office parking lots just past the forest.

While it is a generally quiet path, every 5 minutes or so someone comes by running or taking a walk on their lunch. They generally don’t ask too many questions, but it isn’t completely quiet. There is also a path along the other side of the creek but I often forget that it is there until someone is walking by on the other side, with me in full view jumping and twirling in front of my camera!

But it’s a place I can get to, on my bike that while it may not be perfect, or as serene as it looks…it doesn’t need to be the perfect spot to be a great place to rock a selfie photo shoot.

Why? Because if we wait for a place that is ‘perfect’ or totally serene…we’ll keep putting this off until ‘someday’ but really the imperfectly awesome location might be exactly what we need to take those photos that will help us rock our blog our business!

I hope this might make you look around you a bit differently and spot some selfie photo shoots you might otherwise overlook!

P.S. If you didn’t get your 72 Hours to Gather Your Superpowers Bundle? It’s not too late to in on this amazing offer!

September 20, 2014

Reclaiming our Power in Front of the Camera

Their camera is aimed at me.

Be it a total stranger, a family member or a portrait photograher, the same thing happens for me. I feel awkward and outside of my skin. I feel like I need to pose. So I stay as still as I can and wait for it to be over.

But when my camera is aimed at myself it is different.

I set it down and while I push the timer button or get ready to press my remote, I take a second to do a little silly dance to shake out the nerves. I adjust my clothing and then move in a way that feels like me. I press the button and settle into the experience. I may close my eyes and move or look right into the camera.

I am in my own body, not outside of myself.

I am in control, not out of control.

I am the narrator, not just the subject.

I am embodied, at home and enjoying the experience.

And the photo shows it.

So does the one that someone else has taken. I can see my stress, thoughts of ‘What are they going to do with this photo’ and I didn’t take a moment at all to check in with my body and I can see it in my body language. Sound familiar?

I know this isn’t just my own experience. Except I think it is easy to think that because it is so vulnerable to be in front of someone else’s camera, that aiming our own camera at ourselves would be even more scary.

The more I’ve been using self-portraiture as tool for healing, the more I find that I can remember to take a second while they are getting ready to take the photo to just notice my feet on the ground and take a deep breath. Often that is enough to change the experience of being photographed and put me at ease again.

The difference between the two does feel like it is about power.

That somehow when someone else is holding the camera we hand our power over to them.

Yet that is the same reason why taking the camera into our own hands and taking a photo can be so empowering. It is a reclamation of personal power.

I see it so often in Be Your Own Beloved when the participants get to that one activity which for them flips that switch and they realize they are indeed in control of how they see themselves. I can see that embodiment and reclamation of personal power start to appear in their photos. They stand taller, they get braver and I start to see more of them appear in their photos, without apology.

Now, I do want to share that most portrait photographers I know…you can absolutely see in their photos that they put the client at ease, that they are deeply aware of this power and create a space where the client feels deeply safe.

I guess the thing I want to really share is that we can also create that experience for ourselves too. We can create that sacred space with our own camera too.

I want this for you, for me, for all of us.

Let’s transform the experience of being photographed from a place of fear or discomfort to a place of playfulness and openness, starting by doing this for ourselves!

We’re going to be exploring this in How to Rock a Selfie Photo Shoot starts soon, October 6th! The next session of Be Your Own Beloved starts November 1st! If you have any questions about which class would be the best fit for you, don’t hesitate to use the contact form and connect with me!

September 18, 2014

Tips for Using the New iPhone Timer!

One of my favourite photo tools these days is indeed my iPhone and I was THRILLED to see that with the new phone the iPhone 6 coming out today there was going to be a self-timer added to the camera. While I’d love to get it someday, I still have a lot of time on my plan for this iPhone 5 I was extra excited to find out yesterday that the timer was a part of the new upgrade in the operating system too.

So of course I had to do it right away.

As a self-portrait teacher & taker, a timer is pivotal. Especially in the way I like to take selfies which is to put down the camera and step into the frame. I’ve been singing the praises of the Gorillacam App for years now and still will probably use the App more than this timer but I’m so thrilled to now have both.

For those of you who use Google or Windows phones…you’re lucky ’cause you’ve had a timer on your phone since the beginning. More than that, these phones also seem to have a burst mode (which the iPhone upgrade is lacking and why I will still mostly be using the Gorillacam App still). If you see a burst mode option, try it! What that means is that it can take a whole bunch of photos one after another. This is so wonderful when you are stepping into the frame as you don’t need to run back and forth pressing the shutter each time!

So let’s talk about the iPhone! While these new features are pretty simple to use, I thought I’d share this here because, well….Apple doesn’t give you too much instruction on where new things are. While that’s okay because it is pretty intuitive to use, I found that many folks didn’t know the features I mentioned in the 10 Ways to take Better iPhone Photos post so I thought I might share a bit about this cool new way to use our iPhones for selfies.

You’ll find the timer at the top of the screen when you enter your camera (the basic camera on the phone, not through an App) right beside the Flash, HDR and where you turn the camera from front facing to back facing. They have 2 options for us, a 3 second timer and a 10 second timer. Even with Gorillacam I love using a 10 second timer. It’s just enough time to get into the frame!

In terms of the timer itself, one feature I really like which isn’t the case when using an App is that the flash on the back of your camera flashes to count down. Of course this is different if you are using the front facing camera, but in that case you’ll be able to see numbers pop up on the screen to count down! Good on ya Apple for doing that!

As I’ve been using my phone for selfies, I’ve really come to realize that the camera on the back of the phone is much higher quality than the front facing one (where you can see yourself on the screen). So I almost always use that lens for taking selfies even though I can’t see myself on the screen. Being able to see yourself on the screen is great, and I recommend starting off using the timer that way but maybe flipping it around if you really love what you are getting so you can get some higher quality ones too (especially if you are noticing some graininess).

One place this upgrade is lacking though is with a burst mode. I mean, why add a timer without the ability to take more than one photo at once? It seems like that is indeed coming with the iPhone 6. I’m sure it was something they could have added to this upgrade but instead have it something you need to get the new phone for. Alas…that just means I’ll be getting more use out of the Gorillcam App as you can get it to take how ever many photos you’d like (up to 60 photos).

There are also a couple more new features on this ios8 upgrade that affect our cameras and I’m excited about them both. One is that there is now a favourite button at the bottom of the screen when you are looking at each individual photo. I can’t tell you how many times I scroll and scroll for ages to find one certain photo. So this will be such a great way to have one folder of the images we are most likely to want to refer to. The favourites end up in a favourite folder that you’ll see when you click on your camera roll.

The other feature is the deleted photos folder! It’s gonna be a lifesaver. Even today after I took the photos for this post I accidentally pressed the delete button when trying to send myself these photos and was mighty grateful to be able to go back and retrieve them!

I’ve been excited for the timer to become a new feature not just for my own use. I think a lot about selfies and both their history and their future (I can’t help it…I’m obsessed with the ways that selfies can be a tool to see ourselves with kindness). I have a big hope that people will experiment with the timer more and selfie culture will shift a bit more away from arms length and get us into the frame more. I truly believe that is where so much more of our healing of how we see ourselves can happen. I know the selfie trends have been in reflection of the developments in our gear (like when the front facing camera came and selfies took off because of it) so we’ll just have to wait and see what effect this has!

One more thing…if you do try using your timer today, I also wanted to share this post from the archives with you as it is one of my favourite self-compassion tools that makes using the timer even more fun! I dare you to give it a try and if you do, use the #beyourownbeloved hashtag to share it with us!