Category Archives: Selfies

October 7, 2015

Selfie Love Stories: Interview with Kyeli Smith

I’m so excited to bring you this new interview series here on the blog where each month I’ll be inviting a selfie & self-compassion explorer to join me here to share their story with you. I knew that the first person I wanted to invite to be a part of this series was the wonderful Kyeli Smith. I’ve been witnessing Kyeli’s powerful selfie journey for a few years now and adore her engaging arm’s length selfies, her magical way of getting creative with her photos and commitment to showing up and telling her story through her images, even when it’s hard.

I can’t wait to share this interview with you though I should forewarn you that in the last question you just might need to have tissue’s handy as her response brought me to tears!

Kyeli, thanks so much for chatting about your selfie journey with me! Tell us…doo you have a go-to favourite selfie style that you do daily or regularly as a practice?

I am a huge fan of the arm’s length selfie. It’s easy, quick, I don’t need a tool, and I’ve done it a gazillion times so I can whip one out in seconds and get a shot that I love about 98% of the time.

You’ve taken Be Your Own Beloved a number of times now. But thinking back to that very first time, what was the experience like for you?

Very challenging. I felt excited and nervous every day. The prompts were so gentle and the community was so supportive, I felt encouraged to be brave and step into the work. It was a truly transformative experience for me.

Do you have a favourite Be Your Own Beloved Prompt? Was this prompt outside your comfort zone at first?

Ooh, that would be “The Story of You”. I always use this one as a challenge to really step outside my comfort zone and find a part of myself that needs the most love and light, so it’s always especially difficult – but always especially worth it.

Have selfies become a regular self-care and self-love practice for you now?

Absolutely yes. It’s pivotal for me to stay in touch with myself through my camera. It helps me see where I’m at, where I’m heading, what’s real and true for me in the moment. Looking at myself through my selfies keeps me deeply connected to myself.

Was there a turning point for you in your selfie journey as a whole? A photo that really felt like it changed the way you saw yourself? Or was it a gradual process of moving towards kindness?

A little of both, actually. The biggest turning point was when I stepped away from the arm’s length shot and took whole-body selfies for the first time. It was like, holy shit – look, I’m just a person who looks… like a person! I took selfies on the beach, standing in the surf at sunset, and when I looked at them I burst into tears. I just filled up with love and kindness for myself – from the roots of my hair to my tippy toes – all at once.

It comes and goes, of course. It’s a process, like you said. But yeah, there are photos that give the process quite the boost from time to time. (;

What favourite gear or apps do you use regularly for your selfies?

I am a low-maintenance kind of gal, so I don’t use much gear (though I admit to a kind of secret lust for a selfie-stick). I use Camera+ and Pixlromatic+ for all kinds of fun filters and effects, Diana for double-exposures, Fuzel for colleges, and Flipagram for creating short videos from still shots. That’s pretty much my entire arsenal.

In the last year you’ve shared through your amazing Instagram feed how the changes in your mobility have been a challenge you’ve worked through in terms of your selfie & self-love practice. Your recent photos on the beach in your chair took my breath away. Would you mind sharing a bit about how your selfie and self-love journey has shifted through this time?

I had found a solid place in my self-love journey after years of selfies and self-work, but then in January of 2014, I got hit by a car and pretty much lost the use of my legs. This threw me into a depression that lasted over a year, and in that time, I’d stopped taking selfies regularly. I took them here and there, sure, but not as my regular practice. I ended up falling away from self-love and stopped seeing myself with kindness or compassion – and struggling with massive dissonance between who I wanted to be and who I actually am.

Getting back into the practice of selfies saved my life. I started over, taking arm’s length face selfies until I found my comfort again, then challenging myself to take shots of my feet – which had changed, because now they’re on wheelchair footpads. Then I’d challenge myself to take leg shots, where you can see the edges of the chair. Then, shots of the chair without me in it. Slowly working myself up to the full-body me-in-the-chair shots. The photos on the beach were a gift to myself, a sort of reaffirming that I am still worthy of love and compassion and kindness. And when I look at them, I have that same reaction as before – a shot of self-love and joy that fills me all the way up.

Returning to the practice of selfies was returning home to myself.

Thinking back to your pre-selfie journey Kyeli…what would you tell her now as she’s about to try turning the camera on herself. Or any advice for folks just beginning this journey?

Oh honey, how hard this will be. How you will hate every shot for the first million, how you will cry about your face and your hair and your body and your life. Every trigger you have will be triggered. Every nasty thing you’ve ever been told will be repeated. Every fiber of your being will tell you to stop, put the camera down, and never look back.

But, my love, this will be the best thing you will ever do for yourself. It will change you to your core. It will open you to levels of self-love you don’t even know are possible. It will soften your heart. It will ripple in ways you can’t imagine; it’s not just you who will change.

Take a deep breath, sweetheart. Take a deep breath, and take that step. Take that first shot – and when you hate it, take another. And another and another and another and don’t ever stop, because somewhere in there, you will find yourself. And it will be magnificent.

Thanks so much Kyeli for sharing your experience with us! Here’s a bit more about Kyeli in her own words plus more about where you can find her!

I’m Kyeli, a wild mystic mermaid. I’m disabled and adventurous, always up to shenanigans. I write stuff (sometimes) and take pictures (often). And I’m obsessed with selfies, in case you didn’t already know. Come find me on Instagram (@Kyeli), and give my podcasts a listen at wildcrazymeaningful.com <3

Share your #selfielovestory via the #beyourownbeloved hashtag! I’ll be looking both at the hashtag as well as participants in the Be Your Own Beloved class for future contributors!

October 5, 2015

Tips for Travelling with you Camera!

This week I have a bit of a different selfie tip for you, as I’m writing to you from a cafe in Edinburgh, Scotland…far from my home in Vancouver, Canada.

Of course, travel is on my mind and packing camera gear for travel is an important decision I ponder with every adventure and also a question I often get. I had someone recently ask “I’m heading out on a trip and am not sure if I should bring my big camera or just my phone. What cameras do you travel with?”

So I thought today was the perfect day to share my answer with you and share the things I ponder when faced with the questions: What camera should I bring? What is too much? What is not enough?

Of course, the answer is individual, but here are some things to consider to find the right answer for you:

What do you most love to shoot with?

This is the biggest question I have for you in deciding what to bring on a trip. What is your everyday gear that makes you happy to get out and take photos with. Is it your phone? Then it might make sense to not take your DSLR if it is usually not something you shoot with.

This may ebb and flow too as some times or seasons we may be more into one type of camera, so it’s a question I like to ask myself regularly with each trip as the answer may be different.

As well, what camera is your selfie-taking happy place? Because especially when travelling, it’s easy to get caught up with being behind the camera but it feels important to be in the visual story of our trip too, right? You may want to make certain camera decisions based on general photo needs, but ponder your needs around what you’re most likely to take a selfie with too?

What’s happening on the trip?

After pondering which gear you are most likely to use, this is another factor to think of before deciding. What is happening on the trip that might feel like you don’t want to be without a camera? Are you visiting someone special? Is it an event? Is it somewhere special?

Recently I went on a trip to Latvia, where my mom’s side of the family is from originally. To me, it was the most special trip of my lifetime so this question was clear. I knew that in response to the first question here, I would 100% bring my DSLR and favourite lenses and my iPhone. But I also love taking photos with my Polaroid SX-70 and decided to bring it, along with some film to use. I wouldn’t normally bring it on a trip, but in this case I didn’t regret it at all.

If I knew the trip was likely to be busy with little time for photo or selfie taking, I’d probably just travel with my iPhone.

What’s going on in your next trip and will you want to have your camera in hand?

How are you travelling?

Another vital piece might be how much of the trip will you be carrying your gear?

As a transit rider and car-free person, packing light is pivotal both for everyday especially for travel. My travelling to different places often includes riding transit (or at least from the airport) into the city so my gear is on my back a lot. If you’re going on a trip in a car or are flying and won’t have to carry your bags around during your trip, it may be an option to bring heavier or more gear than you might if it was going to be on your shoulders the whole time.

On this recent trip, I knew I’d have a few big days of travelling but mainly I’d have a home base in each city I was in. Had I been doing a lot more carrying of my bags and travelling from place to place that might have changed things!

Can you go on a photo walk?

When I travel, if I can make space (even 5 minutes) for going on a photo walk and capturing the landscape, the light, the geography of where I’m staying, it feels worthwhile to bring my DSLR no matter how many other photos I may take. If you can commit to taking your camera out on one day of your adventure and bring it with you, I’m sure you won’t regret bringing it!

Even if you don’t normally go on photo walks at home, it is such a divine tool for capturing the story of your trip and truly doesn’t take long at all. I define a photo walk as going out with no other intention than to see what delights you and to capture it through your lens…yourself included!

Pick a Lens!

So if you’ve decided you do want to bring a big DSLR with you, the next question might be…what lens should I bring (if you have multiple lenses). I find that with travel it makes the most sense to bring a wider angle lens as we’re more likely to want to get the big picture of the landscape, cityscape, of group photos or of a self-portrait in a larger context. A more portrait focused lens like a 50mm lens is one of my favourites and is much lighter to travel with but may not have the same big picture perspective as a zoom lens. I find that the most versatile lens (like a zoom lens) is the most ideal for travel.

Picking 1 lens that most suits your needs is a great way to bring your DSLR but not ALL your gear. Unless you know you’ll be doing something that needs specific gear it’s probably ideal to leave stuff at home like an external flash, a tripod, even extra camera cleaning tools or filters. That can help a lot in making a camera bag lighter.

What about a Tripod? Or a Selfie Stick or Monopod?

This is another thing for us to ponder! Do we need to bring a tripod or monopod? Or a selfie stick? I’ve shared about selfie sticks (and the pros & cons of them including travelling with them) in this post but I wanted to mention them here as it’s something to consider.

How light is your tripod or monopod? While I take self-portraits nearly everywhere I go, I rarely use a tripod even at home. I can always find a bench or a fence or use my purse to prop my camera on. So while you might think I’d be the type to travel with a tripod, I’m not. I’d only bring a tripod personally if I was planning to shoot a lot of video and have yet to bring a tripod on an overseas trip.

That might not be the case for you though. Tripods can help us keep our photos stable if our hands are shaky. A monopod is a way to add stability but is smaller and lighter.

A selfie stick might be a good choice for you too if you’ve decided your phone is your primary camera for your adventures. Selfie sticks allow us to get a wider range of view around us (you know for things like getting the Eiffel Tower in the frame with us)! It might be a good choice for you.

In these recent travels to Europe I didn’t bring a tripod but did bring my selfie stick as I wanted to try it in Paris. Honestly, they were everywhere there so it wasn’t out of the norm to use it. That said, I didn’t once use it in Latvia. Even taking selfies was far less common and overt there, and I didn’t feel comfortable using it there. I did still take selfies, of course, finding places to prop my camera.

So a tripod or selfie stick might be a good addition for you, but are added weight in our bags for a lot of us. Something to ponder though!

Get a Comfy Camera Bag

If you crave to bring your camera gear on more trips, a comfy bag is really worth investing in. I’m a fan of camera bags that don’t look like they would have a camera in them which luckily are much more common these days. For travel, it’s vital that the bag have a cross body strap option for me as when I’ve got my backpack on, perching a purse on my shoulder just doesn’t work (nor would another camera backpack).

Having my camera bag look more subtle and have room for things like my wallet, water bottle and journal are important too.

Here are a few of the kinds of camera bags that I would recommend for travel:

The Jo Totes Bellbrook Backpack looks like a dreamy backpack for travel. I tend to travel with my luggage in backpack form, so it might be more ideal for those who travel with a rolling suitcase and would make a great carry on bag as it can hold your computer too.
The Epiphanie Chelsea Bag looks like a dreamy small bag for travel. I’ve owned a few styles of bags from them (like the one in the photo above that they no longer make) and loved them.
I’ve never owned a Kelly Moore bag but swoon over them…especially the Collins Bag which looks nothing like any camera bag I’ve ever seen. I love that the camera pockets are inserts that you can remove if you want to use it like a regular bag!

What if you decide to just bring a phone?

I think my back would thank me if I made that choice and yours might too! If you’re using your phone the most to shoot it might be the best choice for you and especially as our phones take such high quality photos these days.

Here are a few extra suggestions for you if your phone is your main camera for travel:

Clear out your camera roll before you go just like you would clear out a memory card on a DSLR before you head out.
Make sure it’s the highest quality size of photo you’re taking (for example use the basic camera in the phone rather than Instagram)
Use the front facing lens which is a higher quality to take your photos.
Get a timer app like Gorillacam to help you be able to get in the photo along with the beautiful place you’ve travelled to!

What do I bring?

When travelling, I almost always bring my DSLR and my favourite lens the Canon 24-70 2.8. The drawback being that it is actually very heavy to carry around. This is my favourite self-taking lens too especially when I want to get the big picture of the place I’m in too. For me it’s worth it for the photos it takes, but for others it might be too heavy to be ideal (it definitely leaves me with achy shoulders after a day of wandering).

I also bring my Canon 50mm 1.4 lens which I find I use on days when I’m craving a lighter lens and don’t expect to be taking landscape photos. It’s small and light so it’s easy to bring as an extra lens but don’t use as much as the other lens (so I could see myself leaving it behind if I had to travel with less).

I also chose to bring along my Polaroid SX-70 this trip. I don’t tend to bring it on every trip but I mean, there’s castles and gorgeous old buildings and beautiful landscapes. I couldn’t resist and will make sure to use it.

And my iPhone of course. With lots of space to take photos with it.

I also bring 2 batteries and 1 battery charger, 2 memory cards but leave all other camera accessories at home including a tripod or flash.

So do I pack light for travel? Not so much, but from experience of other trips, I know I’ll use what I do bring. It only takes overpacking camera gear once to really wake us up to what we do actually use, so another suggestion I have is to write yourself a note of what worked and what didn’t so you’ll have it to refer to next time!

So what should you bring? I hope these suggestions are helpful in figuring that out.

Alas, I can’t really answer that question for you, but I hope these will help you decide to either take the pressure of yourself to bring a camera other than a phone or to get inspired to!

I’m happy to provide suggestions for your situation in the comments if you’re still torn as to what you want to bring along on your next trip!

September 14, 2015

Self-Paced Class Sale (and Changes Ahead)

I’m excited to share that this week I’m holding a SALE! Use the code YOUAREBELOVED when you purchase one of the Self-Paced classes you’ll get $10 off these already affordable classes.

I thought I’d share a bit about which courses you can choose from but also share that there is change underfoot. At the end of the week when the sale concludes I’m also going to be taking a number of these classes off the Be Your Own Beloved e-course roster…not because I don’t think they are gonna inspire you big time (cause they are) but because I’ve got a lot of new offerings heading your way this fall and especially in the coming year and I want to make room for those. So if you’ve been wanting to take one of these classes someday, the time is now!

Beloved Beginnings

The Beloved Beginnings Class is the one self-paced class that will still be available, but it’s also extra affordable already so by joining in for the sale you get this class for $19!!

The beloved beginnings is a super gentle introduction to the idea of seeing yourself with kindness through your camera and a class you might want to try if you’re drawn to taking the month-long Be Your Own Beloved class but want to get a gentle intro to the journey.

The class is normally $29 but this week you can take it for $19 CAD.

Find out more here.

Or register here for Beloved Beginnings here:

Double Exposure Love

Learn to make absolutely incredible double exposures. This program is packed full of playful and helpful information on how to make double exposures technically and creatively. I share my 5 favourite tricks for creating striking and visually powerful double exposures. Prepare to fall head over heels in love with double exposures (if you aren’t already)!

Class is regularly $39 but you can take it this week for $29!

You can find our more on the class page.

Or register here:

Cultivating Self-Care

The Cultivating Self-Care program is a 14 day workshop and a powerful jolt of inspiration, helping you to brainstorm and then fine tune creating some self-care practices to help fuel you and to claim space in your life for YOU. It’s all about making more time to be our own beloved, to treat ourselves like we would a dear friend and to cultivate more self-compassion along the way!

Class is normally $39 but for you this week it will be $29!

Head on over here to find out more about the class.

Or jump in and register here!

Be Your Own Light

The Be Your Own Light E-Course invites you to explore the light around you and the light within you too. It’s about using the tool of light to take photos that you can see yourself with kindness through and slowly and gently inviting yourself further into the frame, into the visual story of your life!

It’s time to let your light shine, to let YOU shine through in your photos and you’re going to make that happen in this class!

The program is also normally $39 but on sale for $29.

Find out more about this powerful class here.

Or Register for Be Your Own Light here:

The Rebel’s Guide to Falling in Love with Photography

In the Rebel’s Guide to Photography e-course I will help you push past fear of not being the “perfect” photographer. You’ll be invited to shake up the rules of how one is supposed to take a picture and to discover the magic of making beautiful mistakes while discovering the creative photo-seeker in you. You are invited to try 15 different photography activities designed to spark magic through your camera and each activity will arrive in your inbox for 15 days after you register!

All of this for $39 (but of course with your discount it is $29).

You can find out all about it on the course page.

Or if you’ve been wanting to take it and are ready to register, come join in!

Just use the code YOUAREBELOVED when you sign up for the Self-Paced E-Course of your choice and I’ll get you all set up for class to begin! If you have any questions, don’t hesitate to use the contact form to connect with me!

September 7, 2015

Weekly Selfie Tip – Try Your Timer

These days, when we think of a selfie we are probably picturing an arm’s length photo of our face, right?

But that is truly only one kind of a selfie.

Today’s selfie tip is to…try your timer.

Because while finding that angle that you love to take your arm’s length selfie at (something I help you figure out in the e-courses) it’s just one perspective of you. Not only that, but when we are taking this kind of selfie we are posing, trying to get our body paused in that one specific angle, pose and perspective.

While there is nothing wrong with posing for a selfie, I don’t know about you, but posing doesn’t necessarily invite me to feel at home in my body. It allows us to see ourselves in a really controlled way but when we try our timer, we just might find that there is another option than posing.

When we put down the camera, set the timer, and go beyond arm’s length our arms are now free to move.

We’re free to take a deep breath, to get grounded, and to decide how we want to move rather than pose.

Yes, that unknown, that uncontrolled ‘How should I move my body for the camera’ can feel vulnerable.

But when we start moving in our photos be it before or during the photo, when we start getting playful we get to see ourselves in a whole other way. In my experience of healing my own negative body image through the tool of self-portraiture, this was the place where I felt like I jumped into a deeper level of healing, and it’s often the same with the participants in Be Your Own Beloved.

Plus, as you’ll find if you take up today’s dare…this is where taking selfies becomes SO much fun too. You aren’t just capturing your physicality in the photo…we may capture the energy of aliveness, the spark of playfulness and what you just might find is that when you do this you get to see the visual story of you in a whole new way.

So how do we use our timer? Where do we find it? How do we Use it?

Here are a few tips for you:

iPhones usually have a timer (unless it is an older one) and for all iPhones you can download the Gorillacam App that allows you not only to use a timer but to take a whole bunch of photos in order to get that one you love…remember last weeks tip of Letting there be Outtakes?
If you have an Android, guess what…you have a timer already! They don’t make it very obvious but it’s there in the settings of your camera.
Most other point and shoots have a timer built into it. Try your timer today…I dare you!
Find a place to prop your timer. It doesn’t need to be on a tripod. Look around you right now and I bet you’ll notice a bunch of places to prop the camera up!
To try it? Just press the timer and play. There may be a moment where you’re not sure what to do, but get playful and see how your body wants to move. Call on the tools you already know like standing in mountain pose, or the way you love to dance, or reach up your arms and stretch. Or explore the pose you like to do in a photo normally, but arm’s free.
Timer photos don’t need to be full body photos either. One thing that can be fun to do is prop your camera at eye level or a bit above, just like you would an arm’s length selfie but this time have your hands free and see how that inspires you to explore being a part of your visual story in a different way. Or try just getting your feet in the frame, or just your hands.

Remember, the tip (and dare) today is just to try your timer. It isn’t about getting a ‘perfect’ selfie. It isn’t about doing something right. It’s just about trying. As I’ve mentioned before here on the blog, the process of learning to see yourself with compassion through the camera isn’t just about the final photo…in fact it’s more about the process we experience in taking it.

Starting with letting ourselves just give it a try!

If you do try your timer today and decide to share it, use the #beyourownbeloved hashtag (which of course you’re welcome to use for any selfie) to share it with the Beloved Community!

August 31, 2015

Weekly Selfie Tips – Let there be Outtakes

There will be outtakes.

All of us have them. The handful (or dozens) of photos it takes for us to get that one we really love.

If you don’t have outtakes…you’re probably not taking enough photos to make room for the ones you love to appear. Or you have one type of selfie that you take that you know will work and aren’t going out of your comfort zone. But pretty much everyone I know has outtakes, myself included. And if we just take one or two photos, judge ourselves on that one image and quit there, we’re making assumptions of ourselves without really trying.

We all have outtakes.

I have lots of outtakes, every time I take selfies. Some are me having SO much fun that the photo gets a bit ridiculous, some are ones that hold old stories about how I see myself (aka they might feel unflattering and still hold judgement for me) and some are simply the ones it took me to warm up for that one I end up sharing or like the one above, me trying to get the remote to work! It’s a part of the process and the more outtakes you take, the easier it becomes to not judge ourselves by them.

And most of us probably don’t have room on our cameras for ALL the outtakes we’ll need to take to get the ones we love. So we delete them.

But the work of deleting comes in not judging ourselves in the process. Not completely deleting ourselves out of the visual story of our lives. We all have different stories that bring us to want to make peace with the person in the photo, so I definitely don’t want to define what an outtake is for anyone else. What I’m happy to share might be an outtake for someone else and vice versa. Thinking of outtakes as ‘the photos we take in order to get the ones we love’ helps it not be a shame-based relationship to outtakes and makes deleting just a part of the process, not an act of self-hate.

But however we define them, everyone has outtakes.

And let’s choose to not just judge ourselves by our outtakes.

Instead let’s value our perseverance, our resilience and the way we try again even if that outtake brought up an old story.

You might even find that your outtakes surprise you. That they feel more candid, more real than the final selfie you choose to share and hold powerful stories for you. I know that has been the case for me many times. Your outtakes might be a vital part of your visual story.

You can also check out a few of my favourite outtakes shared on Instagram here here and here and both this blog post and this one share outtakes that I’ve taken in the process of getting the one I finally shared on social media.

Yes, it’s easy to think on Instagram that everyone takes that one photo and posts it, easy peasy.

But that’s not the case for me. Nor do I want it to be. Be Your Own Beloved (that starts tomorrow by the way) wasn’t created for folks who find it easy to snap a selfie and post it online. I created the class for folks who like me, find being in photos tender and vulnerable and perhaps a place where old stories of how we see ourselves await.

But it is because those old stories reside there that it is a place where we can choose a new story and reclaim our voice of how we see ourselves.

We’re already gathering for Be Your Own Beloved and the first prompt arrives tomorrow.

Come join us!

And now, for some outtakes from a recent photo adventure where I ended up sharing the photo on the top left on Instagram and the rest are the outtakes it took to get there (cause if I’m asking you to take more photos and be willing to have outtakes, I’d better share some of mine)!

I dare you to share an outtake today…not the photo you’d end up taking but another one that was a part of the process of getting to that one you really love! And share it with us using the #beyourownbeloved hashtag (which of course you’re welcome to use for any selfie). I can’t wait to see your outtakes!