Category Archives: Tips

October 18, 2015

Stop Telling Us How to Take Our Selfies

stopshamingus

I mean it. Stop it.

I bet you think you’re helping us, right?

Because selfies are going wild these days and everyone seems to be taking them. Tons of them.

You’ve gotta reign us in and let us know the do’s and don’ts of taking selfies.

But you aren’t helping us.

You are shaming us.

Everywhere I look online there are articles informing us of how it is acceptable to take a selfie. Some are even on websites that share great articles otherwise but not about this! Telling us how to pose, how and when to take selfies, what is too much or too little. Things like:

Don’t get cocky, don’t use them for attention.
Know which poses are considered passé!
Don’t be so serious, don’t overdo it!
No double chins! No one wants to see that!
Fix Your Face

Reading them, all I hear is this:

You are not enough. Make yourself look like enough. Don’t show your bad side. Be ashamed of your bad side. You are not enough but don’t be too much okay? Don’t be uncool. Don’t try to get too much attention. Hide yourself. Tell the story you think other people want to see.

It’s enough to make you put down your camera and never try to take a selfie isn’t it.

Sure there are a few great tips in there, but every time I read these articles I’m just floored by the way they are written. We are being told at every turn that selfies are only okay if you _____________ (don’t share too many, don’t share bad ones, don’t try too hard, etc).

They are also instructions, rooted in diet-culture with the singular goal of getting our bodies to look smaller and as much as possible, fit into normative body standards.

I mean, I could teach you all these tips but I don’t want to and I won’t. Becasue I want more than that for you.

Now, how-to posts are generally great and yes indeed I write tip posts here on the blog too but they aren’t about taking flattering photos or ‘doing something right’ but are about welcoming in more love through the camera. These above make me mad because they aren’t trying to share technical information or help us learn about ourselves. They are straight up telling us what to do, what is acceptable. They are telling us to go outside of ourselves in order to ‘do it right’.

That is one of my biggest problems with the critique of selfies, the assumption that we are doing it for others not for ourselves. Because doing it for ourselves would be self-centred or narcissistic right (another MAJOR critique of selfies, right)! It’s like we can’t win.

While I think some of the culture of selfies these days is outside of my comfort zone, I’m floored by how we are so blatantly being controlled around how we should or shouldn’t take a selfie.

It makes me want to scream and this is why. These articles are full of shaming.

Shaming our selfie taking.

Shaming our bodies or assuming we should hate our bodies.

Shaming our photos or our reasoning behind taking selfies.

Because here is the thing that I think many people don’t realize, especially those people writing the articles: Selfies are a way for us to decide how we want to see ourselves, not the way you think we should.

By telling us these things you are taking away our voice, our expression. You are writing our narrative for how to take a selfie and disempowering us from telling our stories, our way.

When I started taking self-portraits, I found that for the first time in my life I could create a space where outside voices weren’t in charge of how I saw myself. It allowed me to quiet down all of the external voices so I could finally hear my own and was deeply healing. Which is why I want other people to have the right to create that space for themselves too. Because you are worthy of having that space in your life, where you get to hear your own voice and value it.

If you haven’t taken one of my classes and just arrived at this site you might be thinking “Hey wait…don’t you teach people how to take selfies though?” and indeed my classes are about taking selfies, but that’s why this is so important to me. In the classes I don’t teach you how to take selfies like me, or how to take selfies like anyone else for that matter…you are invited to discover your story, your voice and what lights you up when you pick up the camera. We all have our own unique voice that deserves to be heard.

Part of the process of taking selfies is learning how to do just that, to tell our story. To figure out why we want to take selfies and what we want to share with the world. Even if that involves taking a LOT of selfies, ones that fit both inside and outside of the box of what you think we should be doing.

That’s why I think you need to stop telling me, and all of us, how to take our selfies.

Stop telling us how to tell our own story.

Stop telling us how to pose for the most ‘flattering’ selfie.

Stop telling us how to let ourselves shine the best, how to fit into a certain type of beauty.

Stop assuming that you know why we are taking selfies.

Because we are not doing this for you. We are doing this for ourselves.

Instead, why don’t we:

Love ourselves as we are right now rather than hiding our perceived flaws.

Explore different angles and see what we like, not just the angle we are told to.

Trust (yes, even trusting teens who take selfies) that we are using it as a tool for self-discovery.

Use it as a tool to see ourselves with kindness, not critique….from others or ourselves.

Now if you don’t mind…I’m going to tune out those kind of articles until they improve (and invite you too as well) and get back to the business of telling my story, my way!

October 5, 2015

Tips for Travelling with you Camera!

selfietraveltip3

This week I have a bit of a different selfie tip for you, as I’m writing to you from a cafe in Edinburgh, Scotland…far from my home in Vancouver, Canada.

Of course, travel is on my mind and packing camera gear for travel is an important decision I ponder with every adventure and also a question I often get. I had someone recently ask “I’m heading out on a trip and am not sure if I should bring my big camera or just my phone. What cameras do you travel with?”

So I thought today was the perfect day to share my answer with you and share the things I ponder when faced with the questions: What camera should I bring? What is too much? What is not enough?

Of course, the answer is individual, but here are some things to consider to find the right answer for you:

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What do you most love to shoot with?

This is the biggest question I have for you in deciding what to bring on a trip. What is your everyday gear that makes you happy to get out and take photos with. Is it your phone? Then it might make sense to not take your DSLR if it is usually not something you shoot with.

This may ebb and flow too as some times or seasons we may be more into one type of camera, so it’s a question I like to ask myself regularly with each trip as the answer may be different.

As well, what camera is your selfie-taking happy place? Because especially when travelling, it’s easy to get caught up with being behind the camera but it feels important to be in the visual story of our trip too, right? You may want to make certain camera decisions based on general photo needs, but ponder your needs around what you’re most likely to take a selfie with too?

What’s happening on the trip?

After pondering which gear you are most likely to use, this is another factor to think of before deciding. What is happening on the trip that might feel like you don’t want to be without a camera? Are you visiting someone special? Is it an event? Is it somewhere special?

Recently I went on a trip to Latvia, where my mom’s side of the family is from originally. To me, it was the most special trip of my lifetime so this question was clear. I knew that in response to the first question here, I would 100% bring my DSLR and favourite lenses and my iPhone. But I also love taking photos with my Polaroid SX-70 and decided to bring it, along with some film to use. I wouldn’t normally bring it on a trip, but in this case I didn’t regret it at all.

If I knew the trip was likely to be busy with little time for photo or selfie taking, I’d probably just travel with my iPhone.

What’s going on in your next trip and will you want to have your camera in hand?

How are you travelling?

Another vital piece might be how much of the trip will you be carrying your gear?

As a transit rider and car-free person, packing light is pivotal both for everyday especially for travel. My travelling to different places often includes riding transit (or at least from the airport) into the city so my gear is on my back a lot. If you’re going on a trip in a car or are flying and won’t have to carry your bags around during your trip, it may be an option to bring heavier or more gear than you might if it was going to be on your shoulders the whole time.

On this recent trip, I knew I’d have a few big days of travelling but mainly I’d have a home base in each city I was in. Had I been doing a lot more carrying of my bags and travelling from place to place that might have changed things!

Can you go on a photo walk?

When I travel, if I can make space (even 5 minutes) for going on a photo walk and capturing the landscape, the light, the geography of where I’m staying, it feels worthwhile to bring my DSLR no matter how many other photos I may take. If you can commit to taking your camera out on one day of your adventure and bring it with you, I’m sure you won’t regret bringing it!

Even if you don’t normally go on photo walks at home, it is such a divine tool for capturing the story of your trip and truly doesn’t take long at all. I define a photo walk as going out with no other intention than to see what delights you and to capture it through your lens…yourself included!

Pick a Lens!

So if you’ve decided you do want to bring a big DSLR with you, the next question might be…what lens should I bring (if you have multiple lenses). I find that with travel it makes the most sense to bring a wider angle lens as we’re more likely to want to get the big picture of the landscape, cityscape, of group photos or of a self-portrait in a larger context. A more portrait focused lens like a 50mm lens is one of my favourites and is much lighter to travel with but may not have the same big picture perspective as a zoom lens. I find that the most versatile lens (like a zoom lens) is the most ideal for travel.

Picking 1 lens that most suits your needs is a great way to bring your DSLR but not ALL your gear. Unless you know you’ll be doing something that needs specific gear it’s probably ideal to leave stuff at home like an external flash, a tripod, even extra camera cleaning tools or filters. That can help a lot in making a camera bag lighter.

What about a Tripod? Or a Selfie Stick or Monopod?

This is another thing for us to ponder! Do we need to bring a tripod or monopod? Or a selfie stick? I’ve shared about selfie sticks (and the pros & cons of them including travelling with them) in this post but I wanted to mention them here as it’s something to consider.

How light is your tripod or monopod? While I take self-portraits nearly everywhere I go, I rarely use a tripod even at home. I can always find a bench or a fence or use my purse to prop my camera on. So while you might think I’d be the type to travel with a tripod, I’m not. I’d only bring a tripod personally if I was planning to shoot a lot of video and have yet to bring a tripod on an overseas trip.

That might not be the case for you though. Tripods can help us keep our photos stable if our hands are shaky. A monopod is a way to add stability but is smaller and lighter.

A selfie stick might be a good choice for you too if you’ve decided your phone is your primary camera for your adventures. Selfie sticks allow us to get a wider range of view around us (you know for things like getting the Eiffel Tower in the frame with us)! It might be a good choice for you.

In these recent travels to Europe I didn’t bring a tripod but did bring my selfie stick as I wanted to try it in Paris. Honestly, they were everywhere there so it wasn’t out of the norm to use it. That said, I didn’t once use it in Latvia. Even taking selfies was far less common and overt there, and I didn’t feel comfortable using it there. I did still take selfies, of course, finding places to prop my camera.

So a tripod or selfie stick might be a good addition for you, but are added weight in our bags for a lot of us. Something to ponder though!

Get a Comfy Camera Bag

If you crave to bring your camera gear on more trips, a comfy bag is really worth investing in. I’m a fan of camera bags that don’t look like they would have a camera in them which luckily are much more common these days. For travel, it’s vital that the bag have a cross body strap option for me as when I’ve got my backpack on, perching a purse on my shoulder just doesn’t work (nor would another camera backpack).

Having my camera bag look more subtle and have room for things like my wallet, water bottle and journal are important too.

Here are a few of the kinds of camera bags that I would recommend for travel:

The Jo Totes Bellbrook Backpack looks like a dreamy backpack for travel. I tend to travel with my luggage in backpack form, so it might be more ideal for those who travel with a rolling suitcase and would make a great carry on bag as it can hold your computer too.
The Epiphanie Chelsea Bag looks like a dreamy small bag for travel. I’ve owned a few styles of bags from them (like the one in the photo above that they no longer make) and loved them.
I’ve never owned a Kelly Moore bag but swoon over them…especially the Collins Bag which looks nothing like any camera bag I’ve ever seen. I love that the camera pockets are inserts that you can remove if you want to use it like a regular bag!

What if you decide to just bring a phone?

I think my back would thank me if I made that choice and yours might too! If you’re using your phone the most to shoot it might be the best choice for you and especially as our phones take such high quality photos these days.

Here are a few extra suggestions for you if your phone is your main camera for travel:

Clear out your camera roll before you go just like you would clear out a memory card on a DSLR before you head out.
Make sure it’s the highest quality size of photo you’re taking (for example use the basic camera in the phone rather than Instagram)
Use the front facing lens which is a higher quality to take your photos.
Get a timer app like Gorillacam to help you be able to get in the photo along with the beautiful place you’ve travelled to!

What do I bring?

When travelling, I almost always bring my DSLR and my favourite lens the Canon 24-70 2.8. The drawback being that it is actually very heavy to carry around. This is my favourite self-taking lens too especially when I want to get the big picture of the place I’m in too. For me it’s worth it for the photos it takes, but for others it might be too heavy to be ideal (it definitely leaves me with achy shoulders after a day of wandering).

I also bring my Canon 50mm 1.4 lens which I find I use on days when I’m craving a lighter lens and don’t expect to be taking landscape photos. It’s small and light so it’s easy to bring as an extra lens but don’t use as much as the other lens (so I could see myself leaving it behind if I had to travel with less).

I also chose to bring along my Polaroid SX-70 this trip. I don’t tend to bring it on every trip but I mean, there’s castles and gorgeous old buildings and beautiful landscapes. I couldn’t resist and will make sure to use it.

And my iPhone of course. With lots of space to take photos with it.

I also bring 2 batteries and 1 battery charger, 2 memory cards but leave all other camera accessories at home including a tripod or flash.

So do I pack light for travel? Not so much, but from experience of other trips, I know I’ll use what I do bring. It only takes overpacking camera gear once to really wake us up to what we do actually use, so another suggestion I have is to write yourself a note of what worked and what didn’t so you’ll have it to refer to next time!

So what should you bring? I hope these suggestions are helpful in figuring that out.

Alas, I can’t really answer that question for you, but I hope these will help you decide to either take the pressure of yourself to bring a camera other than a phone or to get inspired to!

I’m happy to provide suggestions for your situation in the comments if you’re still torn as to what you want to bring along on your next trip!

September 7, 2015

Weekly Selfie Tip – Try Your Timer

These days, when we think of a selfie we are probably picturing an arm’s length photo of our face, right?

But that is truly only one kind of a selfie.

Today’s selfie tip is to…try your timer.

Because while finding that angle that you love to take your arm’s length selfie at (something I help you figure out in the e-courses) it’s just one perspective of you. Not only that, but when we are taking this kind of selfie we are posing, trying to get our body paused in that one specific angle, pose and perspective.

While there is nothing wrong with posing for a selfie, I don’t know about you, but posing doesn’t necessarily invite me to feel at home in my body. It allows us to see ourselves in a really controlled way but when we try our timer, we just might find that there is another option than posing.

When we put down the camera, set the timer, and go beyond arm’s length our arms are now free to move.

We’re free to take a deep breath, to get grounded, and to decide how we want to move rather than pose.

Yes, that unknown, that uncontrolled ‘How should I move my body for the camera’ can feel vulnerable.

But when we start moving in our photos be it before or during the photo, when we start getting playful we get to see ourselves in a whole other way. In my experience of healing my own negative body image through the tool of self-portraiture, this was the place where I felt like I jumped into a deeper level of healing, and it’s often the same with the participants in Be Your Own Beloved.

Plus, as you’ll find if you take up today’s dare…this is where taking selfies becomes SO much fun too. You aren’t just capturing your physicality in the photo…we may capture the energy of aliveness, the spark of playfulness and what you just might find is that when you do this you get to see the visual story of you in a whole new way.

So how do we use our timer? Where do we find it? How do we Use it?

Here are a few tips for you:

iPhones usually have a timer (unless it is an older one) and for all iPhones you can download the Gorillacam App that allows you not only to use a timer but to take a whole bunch of photos in order to get that one you love…remember last weeks tip of Letting there be Outtakes?
If you have an Android, guess what…you have a timer already! They don’t make it very obvious but it’s there in the settings of your camera.
Most other point and shoots have a timer built into it. Try your timer today…I dare you!
Find a place to prop your timer. It doesn’t need to be on a tripod. Look around you right now and I bet you’ll notice a bunch of places to prop the camera up!
To try it? Just press the timer and play. There may be a moment where you’re not sure what to do, but get playful and see how your body wants to move. Call on the tools you already know like standing in mountain pose, or the way you love to dance, or reach up your arms and stretch. Or explore the pose you like to do in a photo normally, but arm’s free.
Timer photos don’t need to be full body photos either. One thing that can be fun to do is prop your camera at eye level or a bit above, just like you would an arm’s length selfie but this time have your hands free and see how that inspires you to explore being a part of your visual story in a different way. Or try just getting your feet in the frame, or just your hands.

Remember, the tip (and dare) today is just to try your timer. It isn’t about getting a ‘perfect’ selfie. It isn’t about doing something right. It’s just about trying. As I’ve mentioned before here on the blog, the process of learning to see yourself with compassion through the camera isn’t just about the final photo…in fact it’s more about the process we experience in taking it.

Starting with letting ourselves just give it a try!

If you do try your timer today and decide to share it, use the #beyourownbeloved hashtag (which of course you’re welcome to use for any selfie) to share it with the Beloved Community!

August 24, 2015

Weekly Selfie Tips – Remember to Breathe!

Remember to breathe?

Breathing is pretty inherent, right?

You might be thinking “I’m pretty sure I’m doing that when I’m taking a selfie” but next time you take one or when someone aims a camera at you, check and see if you’re holding your breathe. Cause it’s very likely you are.

Here’s why.

When we take a selfie, often we may be even just a bit tense. We’ve got so much running through our head: Am I going to like this photo? Should I stand somewhere else? How should I pose or stand? What if I don’t like it? Maybe I shouldn’t do this. Is the light okay? Is the camera setting okay?

These thoughts and so much more. The more we take selfies, the more we build that trust with ourselves that if we don’t like it, we can just delete it. We also build a relationship with the camera and the light and learn what light and camera tools help us shine.

Especially if we’re new to selfies as a tool for self-love, worries (or our inner critic) appear.

And when we see the photo, we are probably seeing that fear or concern or ‘is this going to look okay’ on our face.

Taking a simple deep breathe (or a few) helps calm us, centre us.

It helps us ground and feel connected to our bodies. It helps put us at ease.

And these things shine through in a photo the same way our fear or worry might too.

Try it and see if your photo look different when you do.

So it’s simple but important…remember to breathe!

If you experiment with this or any of the selfie tips I’m sharing each week, use the #beyourownbeloved hashtag to share it with me and be a part of the Be Your Own Beloved community!

P.S. The Be Your Own Beloved class is starting next Tuesday!

June 18, 2015

Mirroring in Your Photos

I’m always on the lookout for new apps (and I bet you are too) and ways to get creative with my selfies and other photos after I take them.

Recently I downloaded the app Piclay which is available for both iPhone & Android phones. I got it because it has a great double exposure option (and I’m more than a bit obsessed with double exposures) but what ended up unexpectedly sparking my creative flow was the mirror option.

Piclay has 4 ways to use it: Double Exposure, Mirror, Collage and Single Photo. The double exposure feature is simple in just the right way. You pick two layers and it combines them then you can play around with different filters just the same way as you can with the other options in the app. I like it because to be honest, more and more with the Diana App I find myself choosing the ‘Unfiltered’ option without all the filters they have. So for me, having that basic layer without a filter is wonderful, as are their filters too.

But the mirror feature was the one I really wanted to gush about. I’ve had other ‘kaliedescope’ apps before where they took a photo and mirrored it in a variety of ways but you often didn’t have much creative control over the way it looked or they weren’t that easeful to use. This one totally is. Much like with their double exposures they make it really user friendly and uncomplicated. With the mirror photo option you choose your photo and can decide how you want it framed and then you choose between 4 different mirror options you can see the options below and how they would look on the same photo.

Fun, right? I’m kind of obsessed with it. I initially started using the mirror photo option for the image in the next block of photos, the one on the top right. I wanted to find a photo where I could look back at myself as though I was looking myself in the eye in the photo and this app allowed me to do that!

Of course it’s not only selfies that are fun to experiment with in the Mirror option of Piclay. Flowers of course, but you could truly try any image on your photo stream and just see what happens!

For those of you who have taken the Double Exposure Love class with me (and if you haven’t, its now available as a self-paced class) these kind of images rock for layers for our double exposures and add a kind of surreal and magical element to them. Of course, like the top left image in the next photos, you can also take your double exposure (or your outtakes) and add some extra magic to them!

Have you downloaded the app already? I hope so. So far I’m doing all this with the free version but it seems like they also have a paid version too! I’d LOVE to see your photos so if you share them, don’t hesitate to use the #beyourownbeloved hashtag so I can see them and cheer you on! And the #piclay hashtag too as the folks from the App seem to really appreciate seeing what you create with their app!