Category Archives: Uncategorized

March 28, 2014

Find our Way Home

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The goal all along for me on this path to see myself with kindness, the destination you could say…has always been Home.

To feel at home in my own body, not like a stranger in it.

To feel the safety of home, of a place of refuge where there is quiet from outside sources.

To feel at home in my life and to take photos that include me in it.

To have that ease that you feel when you are home.

To feel the embodiment of being at home in my own skin.

To find my way home to myself.

Sound familiar? I know its a common thread I hear a lot of folks joining me for Be Your Own Beloved sharing…that we’ve gotten lost from ourselves somewhere along the way. That we are seeking the resonance of home.

I knew I couldn’t spend my entire life feeling so disconnected from feeling at home in my own skin, in my own life, so I picked up my camera and started to chart my course there, having no clue if would actually help. But it did, slowly but surely.

Photo by photo by photo.

Day by day which led to years of walking that path.

Along the way finding moments of recognition, sometimes it was a feeling of home in my body as I’d dance playfully in front of the frame,

Or other times when I’d look at the photo and feel like one photo out of the bunch just felt like me, like the woman I could finally see clearly.

A woman I started to see as home.

I’ve been at that place for a year or so now, settling into the feeling of coming home to myself.

Of course, it isn’t a place we get to reside and not cultivate.

So every few days (with some iPhone selfies in the middle) I get out my camera and find a place to take photos.

This is self-care to me, continuing to show up in this exploration of self-compassion through self-portraiture, this seeking and finding of home.

What has helped you find your way back home to yourself? Yoga? Art? Dance? I’d love to know.

If you’d like to explore taking self-portraiture as a part of finding your way home to yourself, there is a session of the powerful online class Be Your Own Beloved starting April 1st (next Tuesday) as we explore the tool of self-portraiture as a way to see ourselves with kindness and chart our course to feeling at home in our bodies and our lives.

March 15, 2014

Beloved Spark Sessions & a BIG 2 Day Spark Sale!!

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Photo by Andrea Scher

I’m SO excited to share that I have a new online one-on-one (via Skype) Mentoring offering launching today!

The Beloved Spark Sessions

The Beloved Spark Sessions focus in on sparking your practice of taking self-portraits.

I think for so many of us, we may have taken a self-portrait class like Be Your Own Beloved and found ourselves disappointed we didn’t keep up our practice after class ended. Or we might have started a 365 day project this year (or many years ago) and feel like we failed for not finishing it. Or perhaps you might have wanted to try seeing yourself with kindness through your camera but fear & your inner critic are stopping you from even beginning.

Over the past year at retreats & events I’ve had so many conversations with folks about this and realized that I have a knack for helping people let got of the guilt and instead making room for a practice that fits in with your life, the time you have, the gear you love and hone in on creating a practice that makes room for compassion, for courage and that you truly can’t wait to do!

The Spark Session Includes:

The Beloved Spark E-Book which will help you dig into what type of practice or project will serve you best and will get you mighty inspired for our call!
A 45 minute Skype call in which we will focus in on your self-portrait journey and I’ll help you clarify a self-portrait practice or project that feels inspiring and honouring of your life path. We’ll dig into creating a practice for you focused on your self-love path and also chat about the technical side of having a self-portrait practice and I’ll be happy to share any technical info you need to spark your journey!
A Follow Up Email to check in how your journey has gone after our session

The Cost for a Beloved Spark Session is $149 CAD but to celebrate their launch this weekend, I have a SUPER SPECIAL offer for you and by using the coupon code BELOVEDSPARK you can get the session for $50 off (yes..you read that right, its $99 for these two days only).

This offer lasts for the next two days only: Sunday March 16 12:00 am PST until Monday March 17 at 11:59 pm PST. Once I receive your booking, I’ll send over my scheduler and we’ll book your session anytime in the coming months that works for you!

The fine print: You most definitely need to book within that time frame to get the discount and I won’t be able to make any exceptions beyond that time frame. As well, the discount only applies to the Beloved Spark Sessions, but not to the other mentoring options.

I can’t wait to help you re-spark your passion for seeing yourself with kindness through your camera!

Head on over here to book your session!

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March 11, 2014

Savouring the Day

Today called for an afternoon wander and lately I feel really drawn to go to the community garden in my neighbourhood every time I go for a walk. I know from my photos or my Instagram feed might make it seem like EVERYTHING is in bloom here, but it is really only the beginnings of spring. I really love this time though….the slow emerging of new growth, new life. When its just a few types of plants appearing, its an invitation to really savour & celebrate them.

One of the flowers I love the most is Magnolia Blossoms and oh my…it was a sweet surprise to find one today on a tree that I had walked by many times this week…I’m pretty sure it just started blooming today.

I also found one of my other favourite flowers, the Lenten Rose (or Hellebore). I really love this flower as it has flowers downwards and is almost easy to walk by without knowing how gorgeous it is underneath those petals. I really love its subtly and that it invites you to pause and really take a deeper look at it, and see whats under there.

Its so fun to put your camera below it and aim up at it, as you never know quite what you are going to capture. I’ve done this a few times and there was a bee in there collecting pollen that I hadn’t seen. Those of you who’ve joined me for The Rebel’s Guide to Falling in Love with Photography know its one of my favourite ways to get out of our heads and into the creative energy to shoot photos with this playful approach.

Then just as I was almost home, I saw some apple blossoms (i think….I always get apple/cherry & plum blossoms confused) which was a sweet surprise. To tell you the truth, this walk had started off with me having a bit of a heavy heart after hearing some sad news about an amazing woman I’m honoured to know passing away. It felt really important to just take some time out of my day and just really focus on savouring the breeze, the warmth, the flowers and the light and think of her.

Truthfully, these photo walks are about so much more than just taking photos.

My walks have always a been a part of my photo journey, but after losing my Grammy in January too, getting out with my camera feels more important than ever, and more healing than ever. I usually come back feeling better than when I left, and even if I don’t…it feels really nourishing to get outside and just really savour the simple things engage with the world around me and remember how lucky we are to be here, in this moment.

March 6, 2014

What Will People Think?

What will people think when we post a self-portrait?

Will they think we are narcissistic? Or self-obsessed?

Will they judge the way we look in the photo? Will they see something different than what I like about the photo?

Oh my.

Its enough to stop us from ever wanting to share photos of ourselves isn’t it!

But, stopping ourselves from sharing parts of ourselves (be it through a photo, or just by being ourselves) doesn’t serve us, does it.

In fact it puts the value in the hands of what other people think about us, rather than what we think about ourselves.

I know for most of my life, I handed that value right over to everyone else, and its so easy to do in a world that so regularly tells us what its expectations of our body, our gender, the way we present ourselves to the world should be.

It was a few years back now that I hit the wall with this. My body/spirit starting shouting at me that my well was empty. I knew that I needed to start figuring out how to value myself, and quick. I can’t tell you the process was pretty. It wasn’t at first, but it was what led me to start taking self-portraits, as for the first time in my life, I finally had a tool that gave me the control over how I saw myself.

I got to control how the picture was taken.

I got to make the process of taking it a space for me to explore feeling at home in my body and to be playful.

I got to delete ones that brought up other people’s voices about my worthiness and make room to take more that felt like they spoke with my own voice.

Yet, sometimes it happens. I’ll realize that the way someone else is seeing in one of my self-portraits might not be with the same kind eyes that I’ve been workings so hard to see myself with. So what if someone does see one of our self-portraits with a critical or judgemental eye?

I used to let this overwhelm me, but as I’ve been learning to nourish my own relationship to how I value myself, these judgements don’t have as much power anymore. In fact, it becomes easier each time to remember that the judgement isn’t actually a reflection of me, but of the person putting it out there and their relationship to themselves.

I wanted to share this photo alongside todays post, as it was one that at first I looked at and felt worried about about how others might see my arms. Yet, I’ve been working really hard to see my arms with compassion rather than criticism in my self-portrait journey and I loved so much about this image, including being able to see myself with kindness in it. Might it bring up someone else’s ideal of what the shape & size of someones arms should be to be ‘beautiful’ are? Maybe? But that is their relationship to their body that might be seeing my photo or body with criticism, not mine. Plus…when I saw this photo after taking it I though…we need more photos out their where women aren’t hiding the shape of their bare arms or only sharing them in ‘flattering’ ways and I don’t want fear of other people’s body standards to stop me from sharing it! So I did.

So, I thought I’d share a couple ways we can try to reclaim these moments where we get caught up in someone else’s evaluation of us over ourselves:

Try to return to to how you felt before the judgement (or perceived judgement) happened. What do you love about the photo? How did it feel to take it? Sometimes someone else’s judgement can cloud our own perception and make us doubt our initial view of the photo, but the kindness you looked at yourself with is SO valuable and valid and worth finding your way back to (yes, even if it takes a few days to).
Take more self-portraits! Yes, if you are feeling like you are standing in the muck of someone else’s perception of you…yet taking self-portraits lets you feel like you have a voice of your own value, return to it! Keep taking photos. Or if there are other creative acts you do that help you feel confident, worthy and value yourself…do them.
I also like to recognize what feel like safe spaces to share self-portraits. Places like Instagram or Flickr feel like places where even if someone is judging my photo, I’d have no clue because people are just kind there. Places like Facebook might not feel as comfortable to many of us. We get to choose the way that we share our self-portrait journey and there are plenty of places that are a nurturing space for us to share our photos. In a post called ‘The Importance of Community & Self-Portraiture’ I shared a bit more about how sharing our photos, feeling supported and encouraged can actually be healing to us, to reclaim feeling empowered in sharing our photos through doing it in a space where people are on the same page as us!

I hope that your experience of sharing your self-portraits online has been supportive but if it hasn’t, please don’t let it stop you. There is community out there that are beautifully supportive and by taking and yes, even sharing our photos is a way for us claim space and honour that our story is worth being told.

Its okay to not share our photos too, but we can decide that out of a place of value & intuition…rather than fear.

As well, I know its super hard sometimes to step out of that muck & mess that a judgement can make you feel, but it is not a truth about you, just someones reflection of their own relationship to their body imposed on you.

You get to define your own worth.

You get to choose love.

P.S…If you’ve love some support in finding your voice, your value, your self-compassion with self-portraiture as a tool for this…come join me for Beloved Beginnings (starting next Monday, March 10th) or the much loved class Be Your Own Beloved (which starts April 1st)! We always have a truly supportive community and non-judgemental energy as we share our photos in class and that ends up being an unexpectedly nourishing element of the journey for so many participants. As well, I’d be truly honoured to get to be a support for you on your path to self-compassion.

March 3, 2014

Tips for Taking Self-Portraits in Public!

So, we’re out on a photo walk or on an everyday adventure and we see the perfect spot to take a self-portrait with our camera or iPhone, but….there are people around! Do we take the photo? Do we move on? What will they think we’re up to?

These questions come up a lot in my self-portrait classes and it such a good one to chat about! So I thought I’d share a few tips with you about how to take self-portraits (especially full body photos or those in which we step into the frame) in public!

Find a Bit of Privacy in a Public Space

You might be surprised to know, there are plenty of times I don’t take a photo because I do feel too in view of other people. One trick I really like to do is to find a bit of privacy in a public space. This could standing behind a tree, or on the other side of a fence, or just go down the beach a bit to take the photo.

Indeed, if you are setting up your tripod, you likely won’t be too inconspicuous, which is why I love to take photos from the ground (or near the ground, on a rock, on top of my purse)! That way your camera can be out of view (or like you just put it down) and you can take your self-portrait!

To me, it does feel really important to find a little bit of privacy. My personal exploration through self-portraiture is really based on finding my way back home to feeling present & at home in my own body, my own skin and a big part of that explored through movement. So finding these little bits of privacy even in public places, feels important to create that safe space to move or dance or whatever I need to do to feel grounded in my body on that day!

Have a Couple Camera Options!

One of the ways I really like to listen to my gut when taking these self-portraits is whether the moment I want to take the photo in public calls for using my iPhone or my DSLR. iPhones are much more subtle as they are so much smaller and someone would have to be pretty close to see that I’m taking photos from the ground with it!

My DSLR on the other hand, is much bigger and I’m more likely to be noticed using it! If you have a Point and Shoot, that is a great option too as it is pretty subtle!

Having these options feels really important too when I’m in a place where I don’t want to make it too public that I have a big fancy camera or if I don’t feel too comfortable being too far away from my camera bag. In these kind of situations I like to use my iPhone as it is much easier to set it down and step into the frame without being too far away!

Scout out Locations (and sometimes, just go for it)

If you’re craving to take more self-portraits out ‘n about, I totally recommend keeping your eyes open for good spots to go to and to make note of them! Places like parks, community gardens, in front of murals, in touristy places, in fields, in the forest, alleys!

I love to jot down places that I haven’t tried yet in a note on my iPhone as I see them and if at the moment it doesn’t seem like its going to be a fit to take a photo, you can always come back!

Yet, sometimes you might just see a spot that you REALLY want to take a photo. Sometimes we just need to go for it! The time we’re spending wondering if someone will come around the corner seeing us might be the exact time we need to actually go for it and take the photo! Often on my photo walks I’ll find a ray of light that is just asking to be stood in for a photo and there are plenty of houses around. Is someone watching from inside their house? Perhaps? But I like to remember that all the jumping and twirling might just add a bit of joy to their day! In this case, like my last point, I might decide to use my iPhone to make the photo more subtle to people watching!

For more locations ideas, check out this post: 10 Great Places to Take Self-Portraits!

Listen to Your Intuition, Not Just Your Inner Critic

I go on LOTS of photo walks, especially when spring arrives and the light has returned! I often try to go out every evening even just for a walk around a few blocks of my neighbourhood. What I’ve discovered about taking self-portraits in public is that it really helps to notice what is my intuition speaking and what is my inner critic.

When we can listen to our intuition, we can notice if it feels like a safe or comfortable spot to pause and take a self-portrait in public. We can notice what feels like the right type of photo to take in that moment. Do we feel brave enough to put down our camera and step into the frame? Or would this be a better moment to stretch our our arm and take an arms length self-portrait? Or do we feel most comfortable in that moment taking the oh so subtle foot self-portrait style photo? In each moment we have lots of options.

If none of them feel like a fit in that moment, I encourage you to just keep adventuring and not see it as not being brave enough or failing. Its listening to our intuition about whether or not it is a good moment to go for it! To tell you the truth I often find that when I have a moment of not feeling comfortable taking a photo in a certain spot in public (even if it is a place where I normally might take it) there is often a new spot, a different place that I’ll find further along on the photo walk to try.

Now, our Inner Critic on the other hand, might be that voice telling us that “We’ll look silly” or “People might laugh at Us” or “I’ll make a fool of myself”. These voices are trying to stop us from going outside of our comfort zone. Stepping into the frame and taking a self-portrait with our whole selves in it, especially in public, is vulnerable. Our Inner Critics…in a mean way…are trying to protect us. I know its hard to push past them ALL the time, but I really encourage you to not let them stop you from taking self-portraits in public all the time. I tend to like to remember different locations when I’m really having a rough Inner Critic day. On a day like this, I’ll try a location like the community garden near my house that is pretty quiet…and has a lower risk of people seeing me take my self-portraits than, for example, taking a photo standing in the sidewalk. Sometimes finding a space that feels a bit less busy is enough to help the Inner Critics take a hike!

Bring a Friend

Sometimes it can be helpful to have a cohort in our selfie taking and it can make us feel much more comfortable having someone to stand near our camera or cheer us on!

For my own personal journey with self-portraiture it has felt really important to find outside spaces where I can really feel comfortable moving and dancing as I heal my relationship to my body and feeling present in it. For me, this often has meant taking these photos solo as I feel more uninhibited and its that freedom, that ‘Dance like No One is Watching’ that I feel really in need of on this healing path.

But for you, going on photo walks with a friend might be the perfect answer, having support, and as you get even more comfortable taking photos out and about, you might try it on your own later on! I encourage you to do what feels right for you on this path!

And you know what…sometimes people will see us! Sometimes they’ll walk right into the photo (which makes for a fun outtake)!

I hope these have been helpful to you and I’d LOVE to know if you give taking a self-portrait in public a try! If you share your photo on Instagram, Twitter or Facebook please do use the hashtag #beyourownbeloved so I can find your photo as I’d love to celebrate you and cheer you on!

For more self-portrait suggestions & prompts, come join me for one of the upcoming sessions of one of my E-Courses! Beloved Beginnings starts soon, on March 10th, and is a 10 day exploration of seeing yourself with kindness through your camera!

Then starting April 1st, a new session of Be Your Own Beloved starts! This 28 Day class has been transformative in so many folks lives in shifting the way that they see themselves in photos from a place of critique to a place of self-compassion (and even seeing themselves with love)!