Category Archives: Uncategorized

June 28, 2013

The Declaration of You ~ My Self-Care Declaration

I’m oh so excited to be writing this post as a part of the Declaraion of You’s Blog Lovin’ Tour! The Declaration of You is a brand new book from the wonderful duo of Michelle Ward and Jessica Swift!

The Declaration of You will be published by North Light Craft Books this summer, with readers getting all the permission they’ve craved to step passionately into their lives, discover how they and their gifts are unique and uncover what they are meant to do! I’m thrilled to be participating this in alongside over 100 other creative bloggers. Learn more – and join us! – by clicking here.”

Each week of the tour bloggers are sharing their thoughts on one of the themes of the chapters in the book and this week the theme is ‘Self-Care’.

So I thought I’d share what my personal declaration of self-care is:

To find moments to choose self-compassion.
To be attentive to my energy output and to honour when the introvert in me needs to recharge solo.
To get out to nature as much as possible and enjoy it (and am lucky to live in a place where I can seek it at the waters edge or in the forest, whichever one I am most in need of).
To look at myself with kindness, both in the mirror and through the camera
To notice what energizes me and what drains me and give myself chances to let go of that which isn’t helping me thrive.
Photo walks (my fave self-care tool). Even just a walk around the block with my camera can radically change my day.
To invite in spontaneous self-care. To buy myself flowers or to take an unexpected stop to just sit in a patch of sun.
I have room to adapt and change my self-care tools as need be. Its not about meeting a ‘self-care schedule’ but about really listening to what I need
To be resilient. To start again as often as I need to and to honour the ebb and flow of self-love and self-care.

To me self-care isn’t just the acts we do, but also the ways that we treat ourselves (which really is probably no surprise since this site is called Be Your Own Beloved)! I think the biggest piece about self-care I like to remember is that last piece. That self-care isn’t just something that we do once and everything is awesome. It is the filling up of our own energetic well and by doing so it makes us more equipt to help or serve others in our lives.

I sometimes mention the depression I went through years back. I think that was the time I learned the most about self-care. I truly felt like I had nothing left to give outwardly and my well was totally dry. So I had to relearn self-care. For me that meant slowing down and really listening to what I needed. At that time it was quiet and solitude. Once that well was filled up I started to seek self-care outwardly which was going on adventures, soaking up simple moments and savouring them which led to me falling in love with capturing these moments through the camera.

The declaration of me in general came out of that stage in my life when I finally listened.

Kept quiet until the voice in me felt ready to speak.

Then slowly began listening to that intuition each day about what I needed to keep that well filled.

What is your declaration of self-care?

There is also a Facebook Party to celebrate the Declaration of You today at 12:30 EST and I hope to see you there!

You can also get your copy of The Declaration of You from the books website (even a signed copy) or from your local bookstore! I truly can’t wait to get this one in my hands and savour every page of it!

You can also check out other posts on the Blog Lovin’ Tour here! I especially loved this post from the awesome Rachel Cole and Seek Your Course as part of the tour!

June 27, 2013

Making Peace with our Inner Critic (and a Giveaway)

Lessons in self-love are so abundant, aren’t they. We might not realize it at first though, as they are often visits from our inner critic…but moments in which we hear our inner critic but decide to make a different choice!

I wanted to share another moment with you where my inner critic got nasty with me but I decided not to listen. I shared this story with the Be Your Own Beloved class soon after I came back from this moment but I thought here a bit later that I might share it with you too. There I was, on another bike ride…when my inner critic aka my gremlins rose up again.

Why do they keep attacking me on bike rides is my question! Here’s what happened the last time!

This time they put their claws into a different story though.

The one about why I’ve been single for a long while. These days I’m more clear than ever that this solo time has been with big healing and much purpose but at that moment my gremlins grabbed on when I forget that for even just a moment.

There I was, happily biking home from reading by the ocean and they jumped me.

Started telling me all the reasons I am presently single. Ranting blame on my personality, my physicality, telling me all the reasons I wasn’t presently loved by another.

That day happened to be ‘Being Our Own Friend’ day in Be Your Own Beloved and I remembered in the nick of time before the gremlins got to the point of no return and as I biked along I thought about what I would say to a friend if I heard her speaking about herself in such a disrespectful way and started speaking in a whisper aloud (to overpower the gremlins in my mind) positive things about myself. Things that even felt uncomfortable to say but that I know I wanted to say if I were truly going to be my own friend.

As the words came out I even got teary. Thinking about how far I’ve come in self-love and how at the same time it never ends and moments arise that we get to put it into practice.

About how even though I do these activities in Be Your Own Beloved a lot (each time I run the class and often in between) it never ceases to amaze me that there are more layers of healing, more chances to show up and be my own beloved.

Soon after my inner critic and I came to a cease fire (or rather I put it in its place and claimed a different story) I came to a stoplight and i knew this heart was there and hopped off my bike to take this photo. To remember this moment where I got the chance to be my own friend.

I wanted to do something special today and offer a giveaway for a spot in the upcoming session of Be Your Own Beloved! Usually with giveaways I like to just make it an ‘enter your name’ kind of opportunity as I really want these giveaways to be accessible to folks who might have never taken a self-portrait before (so don’t worry, you don’t have to take a self-portrait to enter).

But while Be Your Own Beloved is about self-portraiture, it is just as much about showing up for ourselves in the moments when our inner critic might try to stop us from taking that self-portrait (and I’ve got some playful tools in the class to deal with that critic)!

So to enter this draw for the spot in the class I would love for you to leave a comment and share a short story of a moment when you came up against your inner critic and made a different choice than your usual one.

I also wanted to keep this draw open for a longer time than I usually would so that perhaps this might be a chance to invite in a #beyourownbeloved moment in the coming week and do just that…listen to your inner critic and then say NOPE, I choose a different story today (and if facing your inner critic feels like a really really hard task, please enter anyways even if you don’t have a moment to share). This could be as simple as smiling at yourself in the mirror rather than looking away. Or it could be stopping a cycle of negative self-talk in your head and just saying ‘I need a break from this today’.

So all you need to do is leave a comment and I’ll be doing a random draw for the spot!

The Giveaway is now closed but you can still join in on the August session of Be Your Own Beloved!

June 17, 2013

Northern Voice Conference (and the awesomeness of going outside of your comfort zone).

Photo of the photowalk by Tricia Ward McDonald (see her awesome photos over here).

Last week I got a message inviting me to fill a spot leading a photo walk at a local social media and blogging conference. My local photog friends know that I’m into doing more in person teaching so I was super appreciative they recommended me. I’ve had a number of these kinds of local opportunities lately and not only have they helped this introvert feel more comfortable in the role of leading/teaching, but have made me feel more at home in my own city.

So this one was for a conference called Northern Voice and my friends, it totally rocked. I had heard about it, but hadn’t jumped in and signed up in previous years.

It was outside of both my in-person social circles and my online community, so for an introvert like me, thats a whole lotta outside-the-comfort zone action going on. The great thing was, that once I got there I realized that it was the same case for so many of us and I felt totally at home there. I only wish it was a day longer!

One of the many things I so loved about the event was that I couldn’t tell who the speakers where and who the participants were, there just wasn’t a cliquishness or hierarchical energy to the event at all. I loved that.

Another big reason I loved it was the content of the workshops. To tell you the truth, I listen to a lot of online blogging/social-media/marketing tele-seminars and so often I’m disappointed by the kind of blogging advice people give in those seminars (a one-size-fits-all approach) but this event didn’t remotely disappoint in that way. Quite the opposite. I went to such a range of workshops and my notebook is filled up with the take-away inspirations from it…some definitely technical workshops and some super philosophical ones too…all of which I felt spoke to us in a really outside-the-box way, recognizing the wide diversity of reasons we might be involved in social media. I think no matter why you were there you would have ended up going away with so much.

So I wanted to share a bit about this in case you are want to keep watch on the conference for next year or in case you have been pondering going to an event in your part of the world that is outside of your usually bubble of online or in-person circles…go for it…it might be exactly what you are in need of!

June 11, 2013

Join Me at the Soul Sisters Retreat

I am truly so looking forward to this amazing Gathering coming this fall…the Soul Sisters Gathering in Portland, Oregon. When the fabulous Rachelle Mee-Chapman invited me to teach a workshop there I jumped in wholeheartedly with a big YES because I absolutely know this event is going to be life changing and is an event I would sign up for in a heartbeat as a participant. I’m only one of many incredible teachers including: Kelly Rae Roberts, Rachel Cole, Liz Lamoreux, Kate Swoboda, Jenna McGuiggan, Bridget Pilloud, Molly Mahar and of course Rachelle Mee-Chapman (the amazing organizer of the event).

As well, if you would like to experience the Be Your Own Beloved experience in person, this is a great opportunity to! I have a super fun workshop planned for you that is totally beginner friendly but at the same time will get right to the heart of seeing ourselves with kindness!

Its going to be an epic weekend.

Click here to register!

I wanted to let you know as well that this is actually an affiliate link so when you sign up from this page you’ll be helping me as a teacher get paid as a part of this amazing retreat. If you sign up directly from the Soul Sisters website you can also mention to Rachelle that you heard about the retreat from me.

It is going to be a truly amazing group of folks gathered there and I so hope I’ll get to see you there!

June 10, 2013

Stepping out From Behind the Camera

When I first started taking self-portraits, even before I started going outside to seek out the beauty around me (and within me) it began even closer to home.

Yup, in my bathroom.

It really is an amazing place to take self-portraits isn’t it? It usually has a mirror and it is the one place where people might not question what we’re doing taking time for ourselves there! It was truly the perfect place to begin. All I had to do was hold up the camera and click.

Soon though, I realized that it had become my comfort zone. Not just taking photos in the bathroom but the way that I took photos, where I often held the camera up to my face and peeked out from behind it or held it in front of me.

I liked my comfort zone but I also felt like there was a lot more one could do with self-portraiture and I wanted to try it. For so many of us who are the folks who are often behind the camera (with our families or as a photographer) as we dabble in self-portraiture, we might still want to be behind the camera (literally) when we take self-portraits.

I knew that when I found out how to get out from behind the camera I would be able to take some cool photos, but I had no idea it would be so much more than that.

So I wanted to share a few of the tricks I found for getting out from behind the camera in my self-portraits in case they would be useful to you and share a bit about the unexpected learning that happened when I let myself step into the frame.

Use the Mirror to See Your Viewfinder

So the first step in breaking out of that comfort zone was to stay in the bathroom (or in front of the mirror) but get out from behind the camera. One of the biggest tricks that helped me burst out from behind the comfort zone was actually the mirror itself. Whereas the iPhone I have now has a front facing camera so I can see myself as I take the photo, the simple point and shoot (and my first iPhone) didn’t. In a way it was good as I had to figure out ways to compose my photo without being able to see it as I was no longer looking through the viewfinder.

All I did to get out from behind the camera using the mirror was to actually turn my camera on myself as I faced the mirror….and what happens is that when we look in the mirror we can see the back of the camera! Now I was no longer behind the camera but didn’t have to shoot blindly (though that is fun too). Of course I did need to take lots of photos, but that is part of the fun!

Put Your Camera Down on the Ground (or a Tripod)

The next step in getting out from behind the camera was to get outside! I started to seek out fun spots at ground level to take a self-portrait. Most cameras have a timer, so getting to know it proves to be so useful.

If you are using an iPhone and you haven’t yet discovered the app Gorillacam, please go get it! Gorillacam is amazing. It allows you to use both a front or back facing lens on your iPhone but with a timer. You can also set the timer to begin in a certain number of seconds as well as set it to take a chunk of photos one after another. This is such a great way to get ourselves in front of the lens as we can move in our photos or try different things with out having to pause between each photo!

Getting outside and finding places to take self-portraits is a beautiful adventure. We might use a tripod or find some make-shift places to prop our camera or iphone but it expanded my self-portraiture adventures vastly to start stepping into the frame.

Let go of Control (in order to find it)

The big realization that came from this process was that by hiding behind the camera in my self-portraits I was wanting to retain control and to see what was happening as I was taking the photo. The big and unexpected discovery that happened when I let go of the control of seeing my self-portrait as I was shooting it was that by letting go of that type of control I actually made room for a different sense of being in my power in taking photos.

I think at first self-portraits can feel really vulnerable and we might think of all the photos we might have seen of ourselves taken by someone else where we felt out of control (or didn’t want to be photographed). I know that is the way I often feel when someone else takes my photo. But with self-portraiture, especially when we let go of visual control from behind the lens and we step fully into our photo, we might find a sense of freedom and at the same time a new sense of control.

When we are in the photo, our hand are now free and we get to be in our bodies. I know when someone takes a photo of me I tend to not feel in my body but I was amazed to discover that when I was in front of the camera (while still being the photographer) I was in control of it all. By stepping into the frame I got to find my way into being in my body. Often this is a little dance I do before the timer starts to just feel rooted or often it is that I can create some movement in the photo itself. When we free our hands from the camera we invite our body to move and create a space where we get to be the subject of a photo, but our way.

It felt like freedom to me yet at the same time I felt even more in control of my self-image than when I hid behind the camera!

Of course there are truly no right or wrong ways to take a self-portrait so sometimes I still like to take a self-portrait with my camera in the photo but I no longer feel like I’m hiding behind it! Do you perhaps have a similar comfort zone of having your camera in the photo with you or not letting go of looking through the viewfinder when you are taking self-portraits? Comfort zones are awesome and my goodness in the process of self-portraiture we sure do need to find them, but I hope if you are craving to step out from behind the camera in your self-portraits that these ideas will be useful to you!