Category Archives: Uncategorized

June 7, 2013

Dancing in the Garden

I’ve totally fallen in love with the community garden that is about a 5 minute walk from my house.

Ever since the winter I’ve been coming here once a week if at all possible. As winter eased into spring I’d get to see the one or two plants that had started blooming and then spring hit with full force and now the garden is unbelievable. Its always busy with gardeners and folks like me wandering through so when I went the other day I was surprised to have a quiet stretch of time there. Since I was wearing a skirt with lots of movement I couldn’t resist dancing like no one was watching and twirling!

Here is a bit of the beauty and goodness I found in the garden that day!

Where do you like to go for photo walks?

June 5, 2013

The Day I Learned to Dream Big

I remember the day that I learned to dream big.

I wasn’t naturally a big dreamer. In fact I had concluded that mediocrity was where I was destined to go in my life (you know, that part of your 20’s where you just can’t see past where you are). I was at a point in my life where I was barely coming out of the depression that I was struggling with in my late 20’s. I was just at that point in my life where I was starting to take photos with my very basic camera phone (of the era of 6 years ago…remember those) and truly just a month or two after I had taken my first photo in which I felt that spark that photography was something I wanted to explore.

I had been a postpartum doula for a couple years and I loved the work. The moment I learned to dream big was when the call came telling me who my next client was.

That call, on the side of the road waiting for the bus to come was the moment the glass ceiling of possibility was shattered.

My next client was someone well known, very much so. She was also someone who’s work I had been a big fan of since I was in my early teens.

Yup, here’s the point where you might be like ‘What Viv? You aren’t going to tell us who? Alas, I’m not gonna tell you who she is cause it is really not the point of the story and I have wanted to share this moment with you but want to do it in a way where I am respecting her privacy….but lets just say you have definitely heard of her.

She was also one of the first musicians I ever bought an album of (it was actually the era of tapes).

I thought of that girl going to the mall and getting that tape and how much my sister and I listened to it and let our voices soar with it.

Then a decade later, waiting at a bus stop, hearing that same woman’s name as my upcoming client.

Now, here’s the thing. This moment didn’t burst the glass ceiling of my expectations because I had the opportunity to work with someone famous. It wasn’t as though this was going to be the highlight of my life. It wasn’t about them even. It was that this was the moment when I realized that I truly didn’t know what life held for me and that it might be far, way far, beyond my bubble of expectations.

Because this was so outside the realm of the small bubble of the life I thought I would live. Never in my wildest dreams did I think that I would get to work with this incredible woman who’s music had been serenading me my whole life.

It was that moment when I heard the universe loud and clear. Don’t put your life in a box, because nothing is impossible and you can’t predict the amazing things that could happen to you if you open up to possibility.

I had worked with one very well known person before (I just can’t stand the word celebrity when referring to these incredible down to earth women) and loved being able to work with these women in the post-partum time of their lives and giving them the same support as I would any other client. It was beautiful to just get to relate to them not as fan to artist, but to support them as women and mothers and get to see their sweet, humble, kind selves that they truly are.

Working with her was wonderful, she was kind and so down to earth. The day of my last shift with her was the night I turned 30. As I brought her sweet baby into her room for her middle of the night feed she wished me a happy birthday and it felt like a blessing as I was at the precipice of letting go of a truly rough decade of my life and left me hopeful for the one ahead.

The next day, the day after my birthday, a flower truck pulled up to my house and a man got out with the biggest bouquet of flowers I had ever seen. It was for me. From her and her family wishing me a happy birthday.

Getting the call months before that I was going to work with her opened me up to the possibility that I didn’t know what life held for me and then to get these flowers, grand, bold and full of abundance filling my house with beauty felt like a YES.

Yes.

You don’t know what life holds for you.

Yes.

You can’t predict what is ahead, only to be open to the possibility of it.

To stop holding up a NO to my own life.

Now of course, this moment didn’t instantaneously change the old patterns of dreaming small, but it woke me up and was a catalyst in making changes and not holding my life hostage from goodness and possibility. From my experience, waking up to dreaming big is actually a lot of work. It is a lot of showing up for ourselves and doing things that feel absolutely scary. Then once you go for one big dream, there is always another one, an even bigger one, awaiting us. So in a way, not thinking big for myself was self-protective…as it is hard scary work to dream big. But so worth the risk.

I still have the roses from the bouquet that I dried to remind me of that moment.

To remind me of the unknown beauty of life that is yet to unfold.

Even almost 6 years later I hold that moment close when I stopped believing my own stories of mediocrity and stopped believing that I wasn’t worthy of a beautiful life

And started to let life unfold.

There is still so much to unfold in my life (and yours) and I’m holding on to the trust that we don’t know what is going to happen and that it could be even better than we could imagine.

Have you ever had a moment when something happened that was so far out of the realm of the unexpected that you had to stop and listen and wake up to the possibility of what could be?

May 30, 2013

What Message Would You Leave?

I so love coming across messages as I go about my day.

They might be carved into the sidewalk like the ones near my house saying things like: Love, Love Yourself or Why Not?

They might be painted or written with a sharpie, at risk of being painted over or cleaned off. Perhaps not as permanent but there at the exact time we need to see it.

Or sometimes they are very impermanent, written in the sand and will be gone when the tide comes back in or perhaps in chalk on a sidewalk.

I’ve been thinking about this lately, especially the permanent ones.

If I could leave a message, one for people to see for decades to come as they walked down the street…what would that message be? And would I get up the gusto in the moment to actually do it?

I have a feeling I’m pondering this so when the day comes that I come across that drying pavement I’ll just go for it….and why wait?

Why not grab some chalk and write it on the sidewalk today.

It might be no surprise that I would want to write ‘Be Your Own Beloved’ somewhere but am also craving to put more ‘Love Yourself’ out there or ‘You are Enough’ or even ‘Its going to be okay’.

But I wanted to ask you this today. What message would you leave?

What would you want people to read and ponder?

Or even help them get through the day.

What message feels like the one you are meant to share?

So tell me, what message would you spread?

And why not do it today?

For some extra love note leaving inspiration I’ve gotta also send you over to visit the amazing Andrea Jenkins aka HulaSeventy. She so inspired me to do more of these random acts of kindness and leave messages for someone who might need it.

She shares this idea to use stickers and some amazing polaroids of some love notes she helped create.

This story of her family leaving love notes around the city and this one of leaving 50 suns around Portland in the grey season.

The options are kind of endless aren’t they.

Chalk, paint, stickers, notes, posters, marker.

Permanent, impermanent.

How can we not resist but spread the love?

May 28, 2013

Vanity and Self-Portraiture

Let’s talk about vanity!

Now, I’ve been wanting to write this post for a long time as this is probably one of the biggest ways that self-portraiture gets pigeon-holed, as an act of vanity.

I so deeply feel that when people assume taking selfies is ONLY about vanity, we actually disempower ourselves (or one another) from the act of telling the story of our lives through images. I think we also make the idea of seeing ourselves as in these images and feeling good about what we see as wrong.

This has been one of the core values I’ve been building these courses around, taking vanity out of the conversation and focusing in on storytelling, on just picking up the camera and showing up for ourselves.

But is vanity wrong?

I feel like self-portraiture invites us to explore our relationship to our self-image and yes, vanity.

Truthfully, I don’t feel like I can say that ‘No, self-portraiture has nothing to do with vanity’ because I only have my own experience of it.

We all likely have different experiences of it.

For a teenager trying to figure out their identity, taking self-portraits (yes, even of the facebook/myspace profile variety) might be an incredible tool to dive into finding self-confidence and figuring out who they are.

For those experiencing invisibility through gender stereotypes, the whitewashing of media and advertisements and for those who’s bodies don’t fit the mold of what is typically seen as ‘beautiful’ the act of taking self-portraits can be a downright radical act.

For me, having felt invisible for much of my life and not beautiful, taking self-portraits in which the goal is to see my own beauty and even dabble in vanity has been deeply healing.

For a person who has always been seen as typically ‘beautiful’ the act of taking self-portraits might be about telling the story of who she is beyond her beauty.

Is seeing ourselves and liking what we see (especially if that is a new experience) wrong? Is it any less the experience of storytelling if we are telling the story of self-hate turning into self-love and reclaiming a bit of vanity?

So truthfully, I don’t think it is as simple as saying that self-portraiture isn’t about vanity.

But I don’t think the act of self-portraiture is vain.

I do feel like self-portraiture invites us to explore our relationship to seeing ourselves with in a positive way, to see ourselves kindness and that involves liking what we see. To reclaim vanity or to throw it to the wind, whatever our story and our relationship to our self-image needs to shift towards a place of self-love.

I think self-portraiture can be a radical tool to see ourselves with love. That’s what I know.

Whether it is through embracing vanity, getting dressed up and seeing ourselves as beautiful because society (or people in our lives) don’t tell us that and we need to find it for ourselves. Whether it is ditching vanity and focusing on the story in the photo or whether it is focusing on the every day moments or the artistry because that is what calls you. I feel like all of these ways of taking self-portraits are deeply worthy. You are deeply worthy of taking self-portraits for any darn reason you’d like!

What matters is that we chose to pick up the camera and give ourselves the chance to feel worthy, to feel like enough, to see ourselves truthfully in the moment, to even feel beautiful or to feel more than beautiful, to feel in control, to feel empowered…to make space for whatever experience needs to unfold.

There is no wrong or right reason to take a self-portrait in my mind, yes even for the sake of vanity.

What matters is that we give ourselves the chance to be seen with kindness, by ourselves.

So bring it on, any way you like!

If you’d like support on your path to see yourself with kindness, come join me for the upcoming session of Be Your Own Beloved. Class starts November 1st!

May 23, 2013

Exploring my Relationship to Social Media

Finding my way in social media, especially since I added running a business into the mix, hasn’t been simple. It has felt like a big mix of questions.

How do I share my work without feeling like I’m selling out or over promoting?

How do I keep up with all these types of social media (which are all quite different)?

How do I find a way to share in social media that really feels like it is my voice?

Who’s work do I excitedly click as soon as it appears in my social media and where can I find more folks like them?

How do I honour the urge to have space to be me, the unguarded me?

How can I stop feeling so overwhelmed by all things related to social media?

I feel like I’m in the middle of figuring out some of those questions, still a few pieces to find the right spot for in the puzzle. Of course, knowing that by the time I figure them out, social media will be continuing its amazing evolution and there will be new questions.

Some days though, I have to pause and ground myself from any overwhelm or frustration by the fact that this evolution of social media is kind of amazing. Seeing the way things have changed even in the last 5 years and how it is allowing this gal on the west coast of Canada to encourage people around the world to use their cameras to cultivate more self-love and compassion. I need to remember in my social-media-frustration moments, that being an active part of this ever evolving world of online connection is actually kind of amazing.

Then on the other hand, as an introvert, it is totally unsustainable to try to rock all kinds of social media. Each time something new comes up I join in and get excited and then overwhelmed and unable to keep up with it all. So over the last year I’ve really been honing in on what my social media plan is and how to rock social media in a way that feels energizing, inspiring and makes me want to share in those spaces!

Here are a few of the things I’m weaving together as my Social Media Philosophy:

Let Yourself Shine

Quite honestly this has been the hardest part. As I started dabbling in social media, especially once I started sharing about my business, I will confess I felt like I was intruding on people’s inboxes, twitter feeds or facebook feeds. I didn’t want to overwhelm them with promoting my work but at the same time, as people joined me in those spaces they were there to connect with me inspired by my business.

For most of us, sharing on social media isn’t coming from a place of ego. Its coming from the fact that we are creating work that we are proud of be it something in an etsy shop, an e-course or a blog post we just poured our heart into. Sometimes I have to ask myself in relationship to social media : Are you going to hide your light or shine it today? Then it is about finding a way to share it that feels right for us and that does indeed connect to the people we’d hope will resonate with our work, right?

Are you letting yourself shine in social media or hiding your light?

What Lights You Up?

This is at the core of my social media philosophy and deciding which mediums to share in. For any of us sharing our work online, it can feel like we need to spread the word everywhere, that we aren’t doing enough if we aren’t everywhere (or anywhere). Yet when I sit down and think about this question….what social media tools light me up and make me want to share there, its totally clear. The list is short too. Instagram, Pinterest (once I activated part 4 of this post…curate your spaces) and my Public Facebook Page, which I try to treat as though it were my personal one and share most everything there.

I also can’t help but notice that the places that don’t light me up, its probably pretty clear to the folks following me there too. Truthfully the ones that fall into this category are Google +, Twitter, my personal Facebook page (it doesn’t light me up only because it is where I am most craving to create some personal space). After a long time of guilting myself about not posting there, I’m finally letting myself off the hook and focusing in on the mediums of social media that feel energizing and inspiring and trusting that those are the places I’m meant to share.

What types of social media light you up?

Live Your Work

Being a photographer, its natural to take photos and share them in social media and of course benefits spreading the word about my business, but alongside that it gives me a chance to practice what I preach! Teaching self-portrait classes & self-love focused work, it feels important to live my work, to show up in spaces of vulnerability and bravery as I navigate the world of being my own beloved too. This has become more and more of a focus of my social media philosophy as it allows me to show up in my own work and process while at the same time hopefully inviting people to get intrigued and inspired by the work and the message!

I also then have a preference for social media spaces that highlight photos, the main one of course being Instagram! That is my happy place online where I feel like I can share these little moments of my day truthfully and also share the work I’m doing through living it. That truly is the primary place I share this as while Facebook does indeed highlight photos (and it is a great place to catch people’s eyes) they irk me with the way that they invite people to download your photo so I have a pretty clear boundary with Facebook about not sharing high quality files. Instagram saves the day again of course as it allows me to share photos to Facebook and sharing inspiring visuals through living my work!

I think this piece isn’t just for photographers too. How can you share the way you are living the core ideals of your work?

Curate, Curate, Curate!

One of the biggest awakening moments in social media for me is the other side of social media: what I consume of it. I don’t want to just go to these spaces to share my own work and disappear again. I want to connect, share, repost, comment. Yet, back to that introvert piece, so much of the time I spent on some social media felt wildly overwhelming. At a certain point I started to get really excited with the idea that we curate our influences. That we get to decide what types of posts come into our feeds…just like other people have the opportunity to do the same for us. So I started focusing in on ways to let those posts that really inspire me or folks who’s work really makes me want to click over to read it.

So, tell me…what is your Social Media Philosophy? Do some of these ideas resonate or do you have your own approach on navigating social media?

This post is part of a really cool project, the Social Media Consciousness Blog Hop. Head on over here to learn more about it and check out some of the other folks sharing their perspectives on Social Media.