Category Archives: Uncategorized

March 18, 2015

The Simple Selfie

simpleselfiessquare

Each time I run Be Your Own Beloved I’m in awe of the things that come up, that challenge me to create new prompts, that I discover about ones that I’ve used so many times in this class but a participant experiences it in a new way, and by the depth, bravery & honesty of the participants.

Last session one participant mentioned that they found that when they did a prompt where they could set aside over planning the activity or let go of creative expectations, the healing awaited them.

This put to words something I’ve been feeling in my own self-portrait journey for a long time but have been fearful to talk about in my work as the wildly creative self-portraits are selfies people take are AWESOME and I don’t want to put words to their experience of taking selfies and say it isn’t as ‘healing’ as another.

I can only share my truth with you.

The more I try and plan out a shot, the less I feel like I leave room for the new stories that could arise for me. And when I do leave that space, they flow in each and every time.

The healing happens when I stop trying to plan out a shot. When I keep it as simple as possible. When I just make space to look at the woman in the lens and say “What’s your truth today my friend”.

I’ve shared this here before, that sometimes I see people’s wildly creative selfies and wish for a second that it could be my path. Yet I know that my path is all about finding my way home to my body, of taking photos that invoke freedom and the reclamation of my own voice defining how I see myself. I know I’ll go deeper into elements of this as time passes, but they may never be the kind of photos you’d see up in a gallery, and that is 100% good with me. Because I’m not taking these photos to get anyone else’s approval or to have anyone else say they are enough. I’m taking them so I can see myself clearly and tell the woman in the image that she is enough, that she is beautiful and that I am proud of her.

I’ve learned that the more clearly I want to connect with this as healing journey, the more I need to take the pressure of myself for it to be anything other than a conversation between myself and the camera and let creative magic happen through light and playfulness.

So I wanted to share this with you today in case you’re feeling the pressure from yourself to get a technically creative or ‘new’ type of self-portrait for yourself, but really crave to return to the simple conversation that selfies can be.

Or if you are taking everyday selfies and putting pressure or judgement on yourself that they aren’t artistically composed enough.

You get to define how this journey goes for you.

And it’s not a ‘who can take the best selfie’ competition.

It’s you, showing up for the person in the lens and in the mirror and saying “I’m listening”.

So follow whatever path your intuition tells you when you pick up that camera to share your truth, but know that sometimes when we let go of the pressure to get a perfect or a creatively unique shot. When we take the pressure off of ourselves to get the right shutter speed or aperture. When we keep it simple, sometimes thats where the deeper story we need to tell begins…

March 16, 2015

Selfies as Creative Play

What would happen if we let ourselves-2

We’ve probably all learned about creative play in one medium or another right? Playing with paints or letting words spill onto a blank page. We know we need that freedom, that learning and the process of making mistakes, right?

Yet when we pick up that camera and take a selfie, so often we forget that knowledge we have of creative play and judge ourselves harshly by our first outtakes, without allowing that room to mess around and make mistakes.

What would happen if next time you pick up your camera to take a selfie you welcomed in that creative play and the process of learning rather than judge ourselves, our bodies and our value on our outtakes?

So I made you this visual story in case you need the reminder that creative play can be (and needs to be) a part of our explorations of selfies too?

play4 play5

P.S. If you’re thinking, “Well if only Vivienne had a class on how to let ourselves find that creative play and freedom”…I do. Well, actually to be honest it’s a part of ALL the classes, that permission to play. In terms of selfies it is a BIG part of both Be Your Own Beloved and the self-paced Beloved Beginnings.

In terms of photography in general…The Rebel’s Guide to Falling in Love with Photography is all about finding that creative freedom through the camera!

But you don’t need a class to give it a try…just remember the ways that you get into your creative zone in other mediums and give them a try with your camera turned on your self. Blast your favourite music. Dance a round a little first. Go out and get some inspiration.

Let yourself play!

March 8, 2015

The Journey is the Destination

Yesterday I headed out on a photo walk, with that day’s Be Your Own Beloved Prompt in mind.

The activity is all about the act of going out and taking our photos is just as valuable as the end result. It’s so easy to judge our photo adventures by whether or not we get a ‘good’ photo when the actual act of taking them is such a big part of the healing process of seeing ourselves with kindness through our cameras. As cheesy as the quote is, it’s true: Life is a journey, not a destination. So I say…self-love is a journey, not a destination.

So I headed out towards my favourite photo area where there is a mix of urban and nature, train tracks and flowers, a wide open park and gardens. I’m often more drawn to the natural spaces but this time I headed to the graffiti alley in the middle of an art studio building.

And there it was, a gorgeous chair.

I almost wasn’t surprised. Because you never really know what’s around any corner. Plus, I’ve found some pretty cool things in this space before (as in a deconstructed piano that became part of a photo shoot I was doing there)! I’m assuming someone brought at chair there for a photo session anyways though I’m not sure why they left it there.

Turns out it was on of the most fun selfie photo shoots I’ve ever done. I hoped the photos were working out, but more than anything I was just having fun getting a little sassy sitting in that fabulous chair. Sitting is not really my usual selfie taking style as I find so much freedom in moving in a photo, so it felt fun to try to move and self-express while sitting.

A few gremlins tried to get at me. Why didn’t I bring my tripod? How was shooting from the ground going to look, not the best angle, eh? Why didn’t I bring lipstick and wear nicer shoes.

Well, for all of the above the answer was this…that the moment didn’t need to be perfect. In fact if I had of gone home to try and remedy any of those things it’s quite possible the chair would no longer be there.

That’s one of the things I love about a selfie photo shoot….we just have to go for it. Yes, someone might come by (and people did). Yes things might not be ‘perfect’ but I don’t know if perfection would have made there be such a big smile on my face in so many of these.

Yes, I ended up getting some shots I love out of this photo adventure, but that doesn’t always happen and these photos will remind me of that day I stumbled across a pink and white chair surrounded by graffiti under blue skies and how it helped me create a moment where even if it wasn’t perfect, the joy of taking the photos was truly visible in my eyes.

And I know looking at these you might be wondering…were there outtakes? Were there ones that weren’t flattering? Heck yes. Cause I’m a plus size woman taking photos in a chair, with the camera aimed from below. But that’s what’s important to remember…that there are other things we can change other than our bodies. We can stand up beside the chair (like the one above), we can find somewhere to prop our camera higher, or we can let go of the pressure to get a ‘perfect image’ and open up to seeing the joy in our eyes rather than just noticing the things that we would critique.

If I were in a different place with how I saw myself, I could have deleted the whole bunch of them but this is what I want…to be able to see photos with love even when I’m sitting down, even when I can see myself in my body fullness.

I don’t want to love just the photos of myself, I want to keep learning to love the woman in them too. And this photo adventure did just that…helped me feel fabulous taking them and that energy ended up getting woven into the way that I see the photos too.

With love.

So next time you head out on a photo walk and have a wonderful time, remember that feeling of joy and make sure that if one photo from the adventure brings up old stories…that you don’t let it negate your joy!

February 3, 2015

Choose Love

It begins with the choice.

To choose compassion over critique.

To choose love over hate.

Waking up and choosing love again and again.

Perhaps even using your camera to create a new lens to see yourself through.

Proclaim it. Say it aloud.

But don’t stop there.

Live it.

Commit to the relationship even after the honeymoon stage. After proclaiming your love gives way to the rest of the relationship. Where you are left with all the work that needs to be done to keep this relationship thriving.

Don’t leave when it starts to feel damn hard and when you can’t imagine it getting any better.

Say yes to yourself the way you would to your life partner. Through it all.

Know that it’s worth the work. That you are worth the work.

Allow the process of changing this pattern to take as long as it needs to.

Notice the small changes that give way to this slow but sacred change.

Learn that you are and always were worthy of this love.

Don’t give up on yourself.

Show up again and again until you…

Meet your new normal.

Settle into it. Notice the open space where self-critique once lived and the way your shoulders now feel lighter from the heaviness you carried.

Know that there is always going to be ebb and flow, good days and bad ones. Don’t see it as a failure but instead let it deepen your commitment to this lifelong love affair.

Choose Love.

Again and again and again.

Choose Love.

January 28, 2015

A Love Letter to Your Body

If you were going to write your body a love note today…what would it say?

In Be Your Own Beloved we have a love note activity we do and it’s one I return to regularly as a tool for both connecting and making peace with my body, especially on tough days.

On this day, my love letter to my body went like this:

Dear Belly
I’m so sorry I made you ingest gluten last week and that you’ve been in pain ever since. Even after 20 years of being gluten free in so many ways it is still a day to day process of listening to you and remembering what I know you need (or rather don’t need) in order to feel at peace and not in pain.
But I’m on your side.
Love Vivienne

I posted this photo and the short love note below over on Instagram and asked you guys over on the Beloved Facebook Page what you’d write to your body today and I’m so grateful for the love notes y’all have shared over there. Feel free to add your love note over there and get inspired what others are sharing! Or if you decide to try this as a blog post or an Instagram prompt, share a link to it in the comments (or tag #beyourownbeloved on Instagram) so I can witness your love note and leave you a comment!